First and foremost, please pay attention to the following urgent graphic from the White House and President Obama. Thank you.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Tonight’s dinner includes low-carb hot dog buns and Stevita imitation cherry Kool-Aid.
In this post: Get covered, free food.
First and foremost, please pay attention to the following urgent graphic from the White House and President Obama. Thank you.
First and foremost, please pay attention to the following urgent graphic from the White House and President Obama. Thank you.
Somebody please get these Chinese families some therapy.
In this post: Reality, Easter bunnies.
My special request for Monday, March 31: WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET THESE CHINESE FAMILIES SOME THERAPY. They’ve been flying back and forth from China to Malaysia for THREE WEEKS (don’t any of them have jobs?) with signs, banners and matching “drama club” tee shirts to scream obscenities at exhausted Malaysian officials for the March 8 disappearance of MH flight 370. To sum up their nonexistent grip on reality, here’s a quote from Wen Wancheng, 63, whose only son was one of the passengers: “They’re all still alive, my son and everyone on board! The plane is still there, too! They’re hiding it!” Holy mother of crap.
My special request for Monday, March 31: WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GET THESE CHINESE FAMILIES SOME THERAPY. They’ve been flying back and forth from China to Malaysia for THREE WEEKS (don’t any of them have jobs?) with signs, banners and matching “drama club” tee shirts to scream obscenities at exhausted Malaysian officials for the March 8 disappearance of MH flight 370. To sum up their nonexistent grip on reality, here’s a quote from Wen Wancheng, 63, whose only son was one of the passengers: “They’re all still alive, my son and everyone on board! The plane is still there, too! They’re hiding it!” Holy mother of crap.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
All we need to beat Russia is a very cool president. And Wall Street.
In this post: Braised camel turds, strangling Putin.
We did it. We did lunch on Saturday at Cafe Greek in Dallas. We always enjoy the food, and the price for their buffet is really swell, but the overall ambiance is two rungs lower than a state-run mental institution and the owner — we call him the “Grim Reaper” — is a rude, non-verbal grumpyface who sits with his back to the dining room playing with an iPad. Even worse, THEY NEVER HAVE ANY CUSTOMERS and we don’t know how they keep their business open. Cafe Greek is situated in a busy strip mall in a popular part of town, the parking lot is always packed with cars, yet at 12 noon on a beautiful spring Saturday the only diners — besides Sam and me — are a pair of joyless middle-aged women at separate tables sending text messages. (Not to each other.) Cafe Greek can’t possibly be a money-making enterprise, but as long as they let me eat unlimited baked fish with sesame seeds for $9.95 I don’t give a crap about their bottom line. And Sam loves the desserts.
We did it. We did lunch on Saturday at Cafe Greek in Dallas. We always enjoy the food, and the price for their buffet is really swell, but the overall ambiance is two rungs lower than a state-run mental institution and the owner — we call him the “Grim Reaper” — is a rude, non-verbal grumpyface who sits with his back to the dining room playing with an iPad. Even worse, THEY NEVER HAVE ANY CUSTOMERS and we don’t know how they keep their business open. Cafe Greek is situated in a busy strip mall in a popular part of town, the parking lot is always packed with cars, yet at 12 noon on a beautiful spring Saturday the only diners — besides Sam and me — are a pair of joyless middle-aged women at separate tables sending text messages. (Not to each other.) Cafe Greek can’t possibly be a money-making enterprise, but as long as they let me eat unlimited baked fish with sesame seeds for $9.95 I don’t give a crap about their bottom line. And Sam loves the desserts.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Maybe we’ll go for a ride today. I’ll even wear a brassiere and shoes.
In this post: Quakes, bags, dumplings.
I just read on CNN.com that Los Angeles had a 5.1-magnitude earthquake last night followed by a bunch of smaller aftershocks. The quake’s epicenter was in Fullerton (in Orange County) but shaking was felt all over the region, including the Hollywood Hills, Rodeo Drive, beautiful downtown Burbank and the usual list of snooty stores and restaurants. Also palm trees. Sam and I have a lot of family in L.A. and we both hope you’re all okay and nobody’s bathroom mirror fell off. EARTHQUAKES ARE SCARY.
I just read on CNN.com that Los Angeles had a 5.1-magnitude earthquake last night followed by a bunch of smaller aftershocks. The quake’s epicenter was in Fullerton (in Orange County) but shaking was felt all over the region, including the Hollywood Hills, Rodeo Drive, beautiful downtown Burbank and the usual list of snooty stores and restaurants. Also palm trees. Sam and I have a lot of family in L.A. and we both hope you’re all okay and nobody’s bathroom mirror fell off. EARTHQUAKES ARE SCARY.
Friday, March 28, 2014
This is a perfect opportunity for Texas diners to switch to Chinese.
In this post: Bustling activity, a citrus dilemma.
Howdygram headquarters has been bustling with SENIOR CITIZEN EXCITEMENT today, as evidenced by the neatly-typed list that appears below.
Howdygram headquarters has been bustling with SENIOR CITIZEN EXCITEMENT today, as evidenced by the neatly-typed list that appears below.
I WOKE UP AT 2:45 A.M. In case you give a crap, I had aching shins — glorioski! something new! — plus chest pains from being hunched over in a weird position and burning hot hands with stabby electric shocks due to diabetic peripheral neuropathy. The best remedy was to drink a South Pacific Marcytini — this is a regular Marcytini with some sugar-free Hawaiian Punch powder mixed in — and diddle around at my desk until I felt like a regular person again. I went back to bed at 4:15. (Sam didn’t know I was gone.)
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Pringles, the pre-chewed grease chips in a can for morons who play with their food.
In this post: Healthcare.gov, duck lips.
A couple of things before I forget! First, President Obama personally asked me to post the following important announcement because you only have FOUR DAYS LEFT to enroll in the Affordable Care Act for 2014. THE DEADLINE IS MARCH 31 AND THIS IS A VERY BIG DEAL. Please remind everybody you know, okay?
A couple of things before I forget! First, President Obama personally asked me to post the following important announcement because you only have FOUR DAYS LEFT to enroll in the Affordable Care Act for 2014. THE DEADLINE IS MARCH 31 AND THIS IS A VERY BIG DEAL. Please remind everybody you know, okay?
A new appliance and an easy homemade old people’s potato salad recipe.
In this post: Washing things, eating things.
That sound you hear in the background? Yes, it’s LAUNDRY DAY again at Howdygram headquarters! At the moment I’ve got towels in the dryer and a load of socks and whites spinning in the wash. I honestly can’t imagine anything that’s more entertaining on a Thursday afternoon except for refilling my pill sorter or possibly a nap.
That sound you hear in the background? Yes, it’s LAUNDRY DAY again at Howdygram headquarters! At the moment I’ve got towels in the dryer and a load of socks and whites spinning in the wash. I honestly can’t imagine anything that’s more entertaining on a Thursday afternoon except for refilling my pill sorter or possibly a nap.
Yes, friends, there are haircuts in hell.
In this post: Style guide.
So here’s the thing, fashionistas. Next time you’re having a bad hair day you should think of life in North Korea, the garden spot of Asia, where monster-in-chief Kim Jong-un has established MANDATORY HAIRSTYLES for men and women. Women may choose from any of the 18 fashion-forward cold war haircuts pictured below.
So here’s the thing, fashionistas. Next time you’re having a bad hair day you should think of life in North Korea, the garden spot of Asia, where monster-in-chief Kim Jong-un has established MANDATORY HAIRSTYLES for men and women. Women may choose from any of the 18 fashion-forward cold war haircuts pictured below.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Learn how to make Sam’s favorite marinated salad.
In this post: Good things to eat.
My project du jour? Making a huge tub of cucumber & onion salad because SAM LOVES THIS STUFF and he requested it last night when he got home from work. My recipe is an old standard (I learned it from mom) with four basic ingredients: cucumbers, onions, vinegar and sugar. However I like to use two kinds of onions (red and white) and due to having diabetes I prefer granulated Splenda to sugar. A sprinkle of dill is nice, too. (Also black pepper.)
Sam will be heading to Wal-Mart this morning to load up on ingredients and I’m so excited I typed out my grocery list at 5 a.m.
Sam will be heading to Wal-Mart this morning to load up on ingredients and I’m so excited I typed out my grocery list at 5 a.m.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
I’ve been hacked.
In this post: Generosity, suspension, canned goods.
I’ve got some breaking news for those of you following the tale of my wayward shipment from Netrition. Today they RESHIPPED MY ENTIRE ORDER from back on March 11, not just the contents of the one damaged carton that UPS returned to them. Holy crap, everybody … we’ll be PACKED TO THE RAFTERS here with duplicate pumpernickel, hot dog buns, cookies, pasta sauce, chili, sugar-free fake Kool-Aid drink mixes and chocolate bars! That’s about $150 worth of free food! I’m sure the customer service Einsteins at Netrition think they’re being generous, helpful and accommodating, but WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT THIS STUFF? Our pantry is already jammed with — among other things — Hormel tamales, Spam, Vienna sausages, Loma Linda fake meat and teeny cans of ham floating in mystery juice that arrive regularly in caseloads from Wal-Mart and Amazon. Please don’t tell Sam about this yet so I can make a plan. HEY! WANT TO COME FOR DINNER?
I’ve got some breaking news for those of you following the tale of my wayward shipment from Netrition. Today they RESHIPPED MY ENTIRE ORDER from back on March 11, not just the contents of the one damaged carton that UPS returned to them. Holy crap, everybody … we’ll be PACKED TO THE RAFTERS here with duplicate pumpernickel, hot dog buns, cookies, pasta sauce, chili, sugar-free fake Kool-Aid drink mixes and chocolate bars! That’s about $150 worth of free food! I’m sure the customer service Einsteins at Netrition think they’re being generous, helpful and accommodating, but WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT THIS STUFF? Our pantry is already jammed with — among other things — Hormel tamales, Spam, Vienna sausages, Loma Linda fake meat and teeny cans of ham floating in mystery juice that arrive regularly in caseloads from Wal-Mart and Amazon. Please don’t tell Sam about this yet so I can make a plan. HEY! WANT TO COME FOR DINNER?
Oscar Pistorius is a douchebag and other important things for Tuesday.
In this post: New red, important things.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but as of 3:45 Monday afternoon — and for no apparent reason whatsoever — I started using A DIFFERENT SHADE OF RED for the Howdygram’s accent color! Although I’m pretty sure nobody except me gives a crap about this, in case you can’t tell the difference (or don’t know what I’m talking about) the following example will absolutely knock your socks off:
I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but as of 3:45 Monday afternoon — and for no apparent reason whatsoever — I started using A DIFFERENT SHADE OF RED for the Howdygram’s accent color! Although I’m pretty sure nobody except me gives a crap about this, in case you can’t tell the difference (or don’t know what I’m talking about) the following example will absolutely knock your socks off:
Monday, March 24, 2014
Cheese doesn’t make any noise.
In this post: Misinformation, quiet sandwiches.
Boy, did I ever screw up. Do you remember that UPS tracking debacle from one of yesterday’s posts? I was confused. Apparently UPS returned my damaged carton — the one I was supposed to receive on March 17 — to Netrition, and it’s on the truck for delivery today in upstate New York, NOT here at Howdygram headquarters in Mesquite, Texas. So, I just sent an email to Netrition’s customer service team and asked them to please re-ship my order IMMEDIATELY and stop horsing around already before I have a nervous breakdown.
Boy, did I ever screw up. Do you remember that UPS tracking debacle from one of yesterday’s posts? I was confused. Apparently UPS returned my damaged carton — the one I was supposed to receive on March 17 — to Netrition, and it’s on the truck for delivery today in upstate New York, NOT here at Howdygram headquarters in Mesquite, Texas. So, I just sent an email to Netrition’s customer service team and asked them to please re-ship my order IMMEDIATELY and stop horsing around already before I have a nervous breakdown.
Marie Osmond looks like a drag queen.
In this post: Stinking checks, Heckle & Jeckle.
The long, tedious shlep to complete retirement presses on. This morning, for instance, I’m sad to report that my few remaining website clients are still lousing things up and giving me a brain hemorrhage. Second-quarter web hosting payments are due tomorrow, and seven of them — SEVEN! — haven’t bothered to send me their stinking checks yet. They all received two nicely-written reminder emails in March (one with an invoice attached) and none of them even bothered to respond. Are any of those weasles still alive? Looks like things will have to get ugly around here again. Late fees! EVERYBODY HAS TO PAY LATE FEES!
The long, tedious shlep to complete retirement presses on. This morning, for instance, I’m sad to report that my few remaining website clients are still lousing things up and giving me a brain hemorrhage. Second-quarter web hosting payments are due tomorrow, and seven of them — SEVEN! — haven’t bothered to send me their stinking checks yet. They all received two nicely-written reminder emails in March (one with an invoice attached) and none of them even bothered to respond. Are any of those weasles still alive? Looks like things will have to get ugly around here again. Late fees! EVERYBODY HAS TO PAY LATE FEES!
Movies you shouldn’t miss.
In this post: Another movie list.
Holy crap, I almost forgot to post the following list of upcoming excellent movies on TCM that you shouldn’t miss. Five films on Wednesday are part of TCM’s Mary Astor Month festival.
Holy crap, I almost forgot to post the following list of upcoming excellent movies on TCM that you shouldn’t miss. Five films on Wednesday are part of TCM’s Mary Astor Month festival.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Sunday night doldrums highlighted by bathing in the sink.
In this post: Redelivery, baby Sam, Plan B.
Hey, remember the damaged box from my last Netrition order (see previous post, paragraph titled “Sucky Reason #3”) that UPS never delivered on March 18? The tracking information on UPS’s website reads like “War and Peace” — check out the screen shot below — but apparently Netrition finally reshipped everything from upstate New York for overnight delivery TOMORROW. Wow, people, that’s one damn expensive shipment, considering the carton contains nine really heavy glass quart bottles of DaVinci sugar-free flavored syrups plus three boxes of chocolate bars, three bottles of sugar-free Thai chili sauce and a jar of Stevita sugar-free fake cherry Kool-Aid drink mix!
Hey, remember the damaged box from my last Netrition order (see previous post, paragraph titled “Sucky Reason #3”) that UPS never delivered on March 18? The tracking information on UPS’s website reads like “War and Peace” — check out the screen shot below — but apparently Netrition finally reshipped everything from upstate New York for overnight delivery TOMORROW. Wow, people, that’s one damn expensive shipment, considering the carton contains nine really heavy glass quart bottles of DaVinci sugar-free flavored syrups plus three boxes of chocolate bars, three bottles of sugar-free Thai chili sauce and a jar of Stevita sugar-free fake cherry Kool-Aid drink mix!
God willing and weather permitting I might clean out the freezer tonight.
In this post: Screaming, organizing, dining.
Know why I love the Howdygram? I CAN TYPE IN ALL CAPS* WHENEVER I WANT AND NOBODY’S ALLOWED TO GIVE ME ANY CRAP ABOUT IT. Caps are liberating. Try it sometime. It feels like you’re SCREAMING AT THE WORLD, and lately there’s plenty to scream about. For instance:
Know why I love the Howdygram? I CAN TYPE IN ALL CAPS* WHENEVER I WANT AND NOBODY’S ALLOWED TO GIVE ME ANY CRAP ABOUT IT. Caps are liberating. Try it sometime. It feels like you’re SCREAMING AT THE WORLD, and lately there’s plenty to scream about. For instance:
- Sam had to go to work today. On Sunday!
- Russia steals Crimea; NATO says Moldova is next (see below). Romney blames Obama.
- Missing airplanes.
- Killer mudslides.
- Exploding helicopters.
- An oil spill in Galveston Bay.
- The ebola virus is rampant in Guinea.
- Tiger Woods misses the Arnold Palmer Invitational.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
I can hardly wait to scorch my Ball Park Smoked White Fat-Free Turkey Franks!
In this post: Overtime, kitchen gadgets, celebrities.
Here’s some sad and pathetic news: SAM HAD TO GO TO WORK TODAY and probably won’t be home until 4 a.m. This sucks, right? Fortunately he managed to squeeze in a three-hour nap after lunch — actually, we both did — so at least I know he’s not feeling like a zombie. To amuse myself in Sam’s absence I immediately ordered an adorable stainless steel toaster oven from Wal-Mart for $39 ... the exact same brand and model that Amazon sells for $156. Click here to see for yourself! I’M NOT KIDDING!
Here’s some sad and pathetic news: SAM HAD TO GO TO WORK TODAY and probably won’t be home until 4 a.m. This sucks, right? Fortunately he managed to squeeze in a three-hour nap after lunch — actually, we both did — so at least I know he’s not feeling like a zombie. To amuse myself in Sam’s absence I immediately ordered an adorable stainless steel toaster oven from Wal-Mart for $39 ... the exact same brand and model that Amazon sells for $156. Click here to see for yourself! I’M NOT KIDDING!
We love Costco.
In this post: Moaning, shopping, remodeling.
3:15 A.M. Know what? I feel so thoroughly miserable right now I almost can’t use my damn keyboard! I woke up half an hour ago with a substantial fever and severe joint and muscle pain, and Sam heard me moaning when I got out of bed and helped me shlep into the study so I can sit here rocking back and forth like a large turnip. He also brought me a Marcytini from the kitchen with a mountain of ice because my hands feel like they’re on fire and I like holding the glass.
3:15 A.M. Know what? I feel so thoroughly miserable right now I almost can’t use my damn keyboard! I woke up half an hour ago with a substantial fever and severe joint and muscle pain, and Sam heard me moaning when I got out of bed and helped me shlep into the study so I can sit here rocking back and forth like a large turnip. He also brought me a Marcytini from the kitchen with a mountain of ice because my hands feel like they’re on fire and I like holding the glass.
Friday, March 21, 2014
It’s amazing how you can talk yourself into eating insane crap when you have diabetes.
In this post: Shirataki on sale.
In case you don’t have anything productive to do tonight here’s a hot tip from our Happy Homemaker department! Zero-calorie shirataki noodles are 10% off through March 28 at Asian Food Grocer, and if you love this crap as much as I do you’ll drop everything RIGHT NOW and buy yourself a bunch. Asian Food Grocer has the best prices on the Internet plus cheap flat-rate shipping. I just ordered some Skinny brand shirartaki angel hair noodles and shirataki rice.
In case you don’t have anything productive to do tonight here’s a hot tip from our Happy Homemaker department! Zero-calorie shirataki noodles are 10% off through March 28 at Asian Food Grocer, and if you love this crap as much as I do you’ll drop everything RIGHT NOW and buy yourself a bunch. Asian Food Grocer has the best prices on the Internet plus cheap flat-rate shipping. I just ordered some Skinny brand shirartaki angel hair noodles and shirataki rice.
I’m picturing various scenarios where Sam hoses me down in the back yard with our new power washer.
In this post: Hosing off, excellent things from Amazon.
It’s official. We have an appointment with The Grout Doctor on Tuesday, and the crew will be here between 8 and 9 a.m. to recaulk and regrout the shower in our master bathroom. I should be excited as hell, but unfortunately this whole hoo-hah is turning out to be an unexpected inconvenience. Clayton — our personal grout physician — asked us not to use the shower on Sunday or Monday or for 48 hours after they finish the work. That’s FIVE DAYS, people! This isn’t a big crisis for Sam because he can shower in our guest bathroom, but I can’t because I’ve got serious mobility issues, there’s nowhere to sit down (the shower in our master bath has a marble bench) and I don’t want to fall over, start crying or have a nervous breakdown. At the moment I’m picturing various scenarios where Sam hoses me down in the back yard with our new power washer. (Don’t tell the neighbors.) Holy crap.
It’s official. We have an appointment with The Grout Doctor on Tuesday, and the crew will be here between 8 and 9 a.m. to recaulk and regrout the shower in our master bathroom. I should be excited as hell, but unfortunately this whole hoo-hah is turning out to be an unexpected inconvenience. Clayton — our personal grout physician — asked us not to use the shower on Sunday or Monday or for 48 hours after they finish the work. That’s FIVE DAYS, people! This isn’t a big crisis for Sam because he can shower in our guest bathroom, but I can’t because I’ve got serious mobility issues, there’s nowhere to sit down (the shower in our master bath has a marble bench) and I don’t want to fall over, start crying or have a nervous breakdown. At the moment I’m picturing various scenarios where Sam hoses me down in the back yard with our new power washer. (Don’t tell the neighbors.) Holy crap.
Breakfast will probably be a couple of Tylenol over-easy with toast.
In this post: Kvetch report, Hackneyburgers.
It’s 5:15 a.m. and welcome to the pre-dawn Howdygram. I woke up about 40 minutes ago with severe joint and muscle pain all over my body and decided to check my temperature. Yup, I’m running a fever of 99.2°. Stop laughing, okay? That’s REALLY HIGH when a person’s normal temperature is 96°, such as yours truly’s, and explains why I feel like crap and why I’m drinking a big lemonade with a ton of ice. Thank you.
It’s 5:15 a.m. and welcome to the pre-dawn Howdygram. I woke up about 40 minutes ago with severe joint and muscle pain all over my body and decided to check my temperature. Yup, I’m running a fever of 99.2°. Stop laughing, okay? That’s REALLY HIGH when a person’s normal temperature is 96°, such as yours truly’s, and explains why I feel like crap and why I’m drinking a big lemonade with a ton of ice. Thank you.
Today’s hot topic: caulk and grout.
In this post: The Great Dallas Jampocalypse, a grout emergency.
Hi, guys. Before I address today’s hot topic — caulk and grout — I thought y’all might be interested in a couple of photos from a massive traffic jam yesterday in north Dallas ... an event The Dallas Morning News has dubbed the “jampocalypse.” What you see here are the eastbound lanes of I-635, also known as the LBJ Freeway, backed up from a five-car wreck at Skillman Avenue. Cars, trucks, vans and pickups driven by authentic Texas yahoos are seen here headed in two directions on the same side of the freeway, doing wheelies on the grassy knoll (Texans are fond of grassy knolls), attempting three-point turns in traffic lanes and backing up on the shoulders. Being a housebound senior citizen definitely has its advantages.
Hi, guys. Before I address today’s hot topic — caulk and grout — I thought y’all might be interested in a couple of photos from a massive traffic jam yesterday in north Dallas ... an event The Dallas Morning News has dubbed the “jampocalypse.” What you see here are the eastbound lanes of I-635, also known as the LBJ Freeway, backed up from a five-car wreck at Skillman Avenue. Cars, trucks, vans and pickups driven by authentic Texas yahoos are seen here headed in two directions on the same side of the freeway, doing wheelies on the grassy knoll (Texans are fond of grassy knolls), attempting three-point turns in traffic lanes and backing up on the shoulders. Being a housebound senior citizen definitely has its advantages.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Chocolate chip cookies to the rescue.
In this post: Killing time.
It’s 4 a.m. and I should be in bed right now. Unfortunately a hypoglycemic episode woke me from a sound sleep about 45 minutes ago — it always amazes me when that happens! — so I decided to sit around with a box of chocolate chip cookies until I feel steady enough to go back to bed. At this point, though, I think I might hang out in the study for a little while and wait for Sam to get home from work. I hope it’s SOON because he’s supposed to start work tomorrow morning at 11 (instead of 2 p.m.) and won’t have time to get any sleep.
It’s 4 a.m. and I should be in bed right now. Unfortunately a hypoglycemic episode woke me from a sound sleep about 45 minutes ago — it always amazes me when that happens! — so I decided to sit around with a box of chocolate chip cookies until I feel steady enough to go back to bed. At this point, though, I think I might hang out in the study for a little while and wait for Sam to get home from work. I hope it’s SOON because he’s supposed to start work tomorrow morning at 11 (instead of 2 p.m.) and won’t have time to get any sleep.
Dallas has a lot of millionaires, such as the Ewings of Southfork Ranch.
In this post: Sam, millionaires, braunschweiger.
Sam is working late tonight or he would have been home two hours ago. Yes, his hours are insane. If you’re wondering what the hell he does for a living, I’ll simply say that Sam is a senior project manager in the financial print industry, and his job involves helping corporate clients prepare and submit to the SEC confidential transactional and compliance documents related to IPOs, mergers, acquisitions and other fancy whatnots like quarterly and annual financial reports. He also answers the phone.
Sam is working late tonight or he would have been home two hours ago. Yes, his hours are insane. If you’re wondering what the hell he does for a living, I’ll simply say that Sam is a senior project manager in the financial print industry, and his job involves helping corporate clients prepare and submit to the SEC confidential transactional and compliance documents related to IPOs, mergers, acquisitions and other fancy whatnots like quarterly and annual financial reports. He also answers the phone.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Magic plumbing fairies came over last night.
In this post: Easy fixes, a kvetch report.
I’ve got some incredible news. A team of MAGIC PLUMBING FAIRIES came over while we were sleeping last night and fixed the problem with our new Whirlpool water heater!
After this thing was installed on Monday we weren’t getting any pressure in the shower in our master bathroom and the temperature was pooping out to lukewarm before we were halfway finished. Sam left a voice mail for the installation team from Lowe’s, and they called back to explain that a new water heater can sometimes cause sediment to get stuck temporarily in the trap behind the shower (who knew?) and cause the problems we were having. This morning, though, everything was COMPLETELY BACK TO NORMAL all by itself with plenty of scalding hot water (Sam enjoys the “lobster” effect) and pressure like Niagara Falls. And then we swapped our shower head with the guest bathroom ... JUST FOR FUN!
However, if this is unnecessarily confusing — or if you simply don’t give a crap — please feel free to move along to the next paragraph. Thank you.
I’ve got some incredible news. A team of MAGIC PLUMBING FAIRIES came over while we were sleeping last night and fixed the problem with our new Whirlpool water heater!
However, if this is unnecessarily confusing — or if you simply don’t give a crap — please feel free to move along to the next paragraph. Thank you.
I think the Affordable Care Act is a much better deal than cheap corndogs.
In this post: Healthcare.gov, National Corndog Day.
Before I forget, a very important deadline is coming up for the Affordable Care Act, and Michelle Obama has asked me to post the following reminder on my blog:
Before I forget, a very important deadline is coming up for the Affordable Care Act, and Michelle Obama has asked me to post the following reminder on my blog:
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