A full and happy weekend.

Some weekends are better than others. For Sam and me, this one was GREAT. We did piles of fun things that included: 1) hanging out on our patio; 2) buying gefilte fish and chopped liver at Gio’s Deli; 3) a nice twilight drive through Sunnyvale to look at cattle; and 4) watching a variety of really good movies, such as A Mighty Wind and The Apartment. In case you need a visual for item 3, here’s a map for your possible interest.

The pink star is our house, and all the open space east of us is Sunnyvale, which is primarily country roads, little lakes, woods, mansions and cattle ranches. Mostly cattle ranches. On a clear day you can sit on our patio and hear mooing. Mooing is good for the soul. We never get tired of it.

I want to patent an exciting new eating implement that’s pictured below: the TELESCOPING FORK. This is actually a metal backscratcher that I bought online but I’m absolutely convinced it has a greater purpose.

Imagine you’re in a restaurant and want some onion rings off your husband’s plate. Instead of reaching across the table, which is rude and you might drag your sleeve through the barbecue sauce, just whip out your handy telescoping fork and stab whatever you want from a polite distance before anybody has a chance to say no. The fork is made of sturdy stainless steel, extends to 20 inches and folds up small enough to fit in your purse. If you want one of your own, you can order it here for only $6.99. The possibilities are so exciting I can hardly stand it.

And finally, it’s time to launch the Howdygram’s BIG SPRING GIVEAWAY. Enter now to win one of eight prizes, including our exclusive “Thank You for Reading This” and “Don’t Pick on Nostrildamus” hats, mouse pads and note cards.

I’m sure you’ll agree these are really cute prizes, so hurry up and enter so you won’t forget. TOTAL STRANGERS ARE WELCOME, TOO. All winners will be notified by email on May 15. Thank you for reading this.