Meet another terrified, hate-filled little jackass.

You know what? It’s been an awfully long time since the Howdygram’s last Einstein Award so I thought I’d feature anti-LGBT* hate-monger David R. Usher, who’s president of the Center for Marriage Policy (CMP), a division of Renew America PAC, a right-wing Einstein club.

In a frantic 37-paragraph column on Friday in Right Wing Watch, Usher warns that if same-sex marriage ever becomes legal in all 50 states lesbians will trick gay and straight men into fathering their children and turn them into economic slaves. The column was titled “Our Last Chance to Save Traditional Marriage.”

Usher describes a world in which women marry women but keep the fathers of their children around to “combine incomes, double-up on tax-free child support and welfare benefits ... and double the resources available to raise children and run their household,” managing, supposedly, to sponge off of a lesbian wife, a cohabitating boyfriend and the government all at the same time. With lesbians ruling the country, he says, “Men will be forced to labor for the economic benefit of marriages between women ... schools will be aggressively promoting lifestyles that kill or disable children and infect innocent women and babies with HIV.” He also believes that “to dismantle marriage – the most important equal rights institution framed by the Founding Fathers – is to dismantle the Constitution, freedom, and the United States of America.” Holy crap.

Usher is definitely one terrified, hate-filled little jackass, isn’t he? Technically I think he also qualifies to win our Putz of the Week award. Maybe next time, okay?

Sam is on his way to Costco as I write this post to pick up our new prescription glasses. He’s getting his very first pair — progressive bifcocals — and I’m getting the progressives Costco had to re-do because they screwed them up the first time around. We are both unnaturally excited about this and can’t wait to see our dinner tonight clearly for the very first time. Glorioski! Mongolian chicken, up close and personal!

I’d like to send a great big pile of Howdygram love to Sam’s sister Marian, who’s hospitalized in Seattle undergoing procedures to reinflate a collapsed lung. We think Marian’s been through more than enough and deserves to go home and be healthy for the rest of her life.

Thank you for reading this.

*LGBT = Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender. Information source: David Ferguson, RawStory.com.