I deserve Mongolian chicken because I’m doing laundry tonight. Also because I’m starving.

So far this has been a seriously stupid day. In case you care, Sam got home from work at 5:15 this morning. We talked for a few minutes when he came to bed, but I could tell he was too wide awake to unwind so after a few minutes I got up and migrated to the chaise in the family room for a couple of hours. Sam eventually woke up at 9:30 after only four hours of sleep and looked genuinely not so great when he went back to work at 1:15 this afternoon. He should’ve called in pooped today. Holy crap.

Remember Stormageddon from yesterday’s Howdygram post? It never materialized, a statement that should come as no surprise whatsoever to anybody who expects a reliable forecast from the lying sacks of poo at Weather.com. Around 4:30 this afternoon we had five minutes of rain, five minutes of thunder, a light breeze and a refreshing drop in the temperature from 75° to 60°. BFD.

I tend to bounce back quickly from disappointment, however. This has been an excellent day for bargains on Amazon.com, where I purchased all of the following essential crapola: 1) 24 boxes of wintergreen TicTacs for (are you ready?) only $12.13, which is three whole bucks LESS than I usually pay for a dozen; 2) a stainless steel coffee scoop for — wait for it! — scooping coffee; 3) a set of four 32-ounce plastic tumblers so I can finally enjoy extra-large Marcytinis; 4) a shitload of Charmin; and 5) that’s it. The only thing that could make this even better is Mongolian chicken, which I’m considering seriously at the present time. For the record, I deserve Mongolian chicken because I’m doing laundry tonight. Also because I’m starving and haven’t eaten anything since 11:15 this morning.

Thank you for reading this. Pass the soy sauce.