I don’t have enough Splenda or vanilla in the pantry. I feel surprisingly despondent about this.

There’s a big hoo-hah happening today at Howdygram headquarters! Here, in no particular order whatsoever, are the latest breaking news stories: 1) I finally picked a new color palette for Ovation Creative; 2) I’m making biscuits and salmon patties for dinner; and 3) I’ve got a haircut appointment on Monday with a stylist named “Ambyr” whose name leads me to believe that her real job probably involves porn. Details follow concerning items one and two. Item three should be self-explanatory.

Regarding item one, I’ve been obsessed with this baloney for almost a month and it’s a relief to have finally made a decision so I can redesign my website and move on with my life already. Yee-haw, hallelujah and holy crap! Regarding item two, the delivery I got today from Netrition.com included a huge box of CarbQuik, the low-carb Bisquick knockoff that I mentioned a few days ago. I’ve been collecting all kinds of fabulous CarbQuik recipes online that I can’t wait to try, but at the top of my list are Salmon Patties — I love salmon things! — and the One-Step Drop Biscuits — I love biscuits, too! — printed on the back of the box. I figure it can’t get much easier than one stinking step, right? If they’re good I’ll try to save a few for Sam but I’m not promising anything.

Other excellent CarbQuik recipes on my list include Chicken Pot Pie, Upside-Down Pizza, Easy Cheesecake (no crust!), Lasagna Pie and a Breakfast Casserole that sounds a lot like a big poofy quiche. I’d love to make the Easy Cheesecake tonight for dessert but I don’t have enough Splenda or vanilla in the pantry. I feel surprisingly despondent about this.

Now that I’m hungry enough to eat moose kabobs I guess it’s time to sign off, inject some insulin and haul my ass into the kitchen. Thank you for reading this!