Not everybody needs 24 kosher chickens or 36 boxes of Frankel’s frozen blintzes.

Holy crap, people. I just placed my first-ever order with the KC Kosher Co-Op for a case of Mrs. Adler’s sugar-free gefilte fish! The co-op doesn’t ship anything directly to me, however, they send a refrigerated 18-wheeler to somebody’s actual house in Dallas and I have to show up on a specific delivery date (March 12) at a specific time (5 p.m.) along with dozens of other Jewish foodies to pick up my products.

The co-op sells just about anything that’s kosher and it’s all priced at wholesale with no delivery charge. Tonight I paid the equivalent of $4.75 each for a case of 12 jars of gefilte fish, and that’s less than HALF what I’d pay at Tom Thumb. Technically, though, Tom Thumb doesn’t carry sugar-free gefilte fish, and most of the time they don’t have any gefilte fish at all. For your possible interest the map below indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) the co-op’s drop-off location in Dallas; and C) George Bush’s house on Daria Place. Let me know if you want George’s exact address so you can look it up on Google maps.

I don’t need horseradish, however. Horseradish I’ve already got plenty. (That last sentence sure sounds Yiddish, doesn’t it?)

For the record, every other month the KC Kosher Co-Op trucks food to cities all over the U.S. that have Jewish populations and very few kosher shopping options (Dallas, Phoenix, Minneapolis, and so on). Their website even facilitates order splitting with other customers at your delivery location since most products they sell are packaged by the case and not everybody needs 24 kosher chickens or 36 boxes of Frankel’s frozen blintzes. If my first order works out well maybe I’ll do this again. Stay tuned, okay?

Sam is taking next week off work and we’re so damn excited we might have a nervous breakdown. We’ve got a growing agenda of stuff we want to do, including one or two museums, a trip to the Choctaw Casino in Oklahoma for a day of penny slots, and lunches at Cafe Greek, Hong Kong Royal and Sam’s Barbecue in Fairfield. But most exciting of all ... tomorrow we’re going to the Natural Grocer on Preston Road so I can buy ZERO CARB BREAD! It’s possible I might have a second nervous breakdown dreaming about grilled cheese and buttered toast. (Diabetics never get to eat grilled cheese and buttered toast.)

May you live and be well. Happy February.