My house is so spotless you could do brain surgery on the kitchen floor.

I’ve got a pile of unrelated topics to string together for tonight’s Howdygram post, so bear with me.

To begin, my biweekly maid service was here this afternoon and did another truly outstanding job. Isidra works alone now (she used to come with a partner) so her cleaning session takes about an hour and half longer than before, but I don’t mind because she’s really nice, very industrious and doesn’t get in my way. At 4 p.m. she was outside on the patio scrubbing my silk plants and trees, and next time (two weeks from today) she wants to CLEAN THE INSIDE OF MY REFRIGERATOR. Holy crap, I’m so excited about this I might faint! My house is so spotless you could do brain surgery on the kitchen floor. Except I wish you wouldn’t. Thank you.

From our Extinct Musicians department comes this story about the Dave Clark Five, who were part of the infamous “British invasion” back in the early 1960s. Apparently they performed together for 12 years but had pretty much vanished from the U.S. pop charts by 1967. And now they seem to be vanishing for real, as only two of the original members are still alive.

Denis Payton died in 2006, Mike Smith in 2008, and Rick Huxley died yesterday. I realize you may not give a crap about any of this, but these dudes are only eight or nine years older than I am and they’re all dying from ordinary old-people illnesses like cancer and emphysema, not from drugs, AIDS or orgies. (Do people die from orgies?)

In case you don’t know — or don’t remember — who these people are, here’s a 1964 video clip of their first big hit, “Glad All Over.” Dave Clark is on the drums; frontman Mike Smith (pictured above) is on the keyboard. This is the first time I’ve heard this song in maybe 45 years but I remembered every word the minute they started singing. I must be a genius.

All of a sudden this month I’ve got a steady stream of new graphic design business coming in, including: 1) a brochure project for a bridal consultant in Virginia; 2) a new website for a caterer in South Carolina; and 3) business cards and a redesigned website for a photographer in Colorado. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by all the attention. How come I can’t retire already? Why do people keep throwing money at me? And when will I ever find the time to make another pot of Stupid Soup? Incidentally, if you’d like to check out the redesigned website mentioned in item 3, click here.

Know what? I’ve got a ton of great television recorded on my DVR! In addition to “Top Chef” tonight and “Project Runway” tomorrow, I still have to finish “Dallas” from Monday night, three episodes of “People’s Court,” two weeks of “Millionaire Matchmaker” and four “Hardcore Pawn” reruns. I don’t know what to watch first ... although a nice Irene Dunne movie comes to mind, such as I Remember Mama or My Favorite Wife.

Time to warm up in the shower before Sam gets home. I’m freezing tonight.