Vijay Singh finally admits using illegal deer antler spray.

Yo from Howdygram headquarters. I considered going to bed a couple of hours ago but decided to hang out at my desk for a while instead. Also because I’m not especially tired.

Breaking news from our Overpaid Liars in Sports department! PGA golfer Vijay Singh finally released a statement last week admitting that he used the dreaded deer antler spray, which contains a substance that’s banned under the PGA Tour Anti-Doping Policy. Singh pretended he didn’t know anything in the spray was illegal but the PGA isn’t buying it. According to an interview in Sports Illustrated, Singh paid $9,000 last November for the “spray, chips, beam ray and powder additive” and claims to use the spray “every couple of hours … every day,” and “sleeps with the beam ray on and has put chips on his ankles, waist and shoulders.” WTF?

Please drop me a note as soon as possible if you have any idea what the hell they’re talking about. Thank you.

In case you’re interested, our agenda today will include all of the following activities: 1) flossing; 2) an early lunch at Alfredo’s to avoid all those after-church Einsteins who clog up the parking lot; and 3) possibly watching the Super Bowl, although neither of us really cares who wins. It’s mostly an excuse to turn up the volume on our high-definition TV and eat crunchy things that come in bags.

Thank you for reading this.