East Indian potato latke recipe combines dinner and mouthwash.

It’s the crack of dawn, and judging from the strange crap in my head right now I guess I’ll be writing an all-food Howdygram post. Could be worse, right?

First up, here’s an interesting video from Foodbeast that shows you how to jazz up your food like a fifth-grader with do-it-yourself shaker jars of pulverized Doritos, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and barbecue potato chips. Know what? This doesn’t sound half-bad to me.



Don’t look now, friends, but tonight’s the first night of Hanukkah, the Jewish Festival of Grease! In case you’re interested in a real down-home celebration I found a few recipes online that may fit the bill.

Potato Latke Pizza. Dry yet tasteless crust covered with apples, goat cheese, sour cream and potatoes. Trust me, it’ll never be a hit on campus. [Get recipe here.]

East Indian Potato Latkes. Made with hot peppers, cilantro, mint — mint?! — and enough oil to float the Israeli navy. An interesting way to combine dinner and mouthwash. [Get recipe here.]

Fried Pasta Salad. Rock-hard, deep-fried bow-tie pasta slathered with a scary blend of pesto, marinara, Italian salad dressing and mayo. Make enough for your office party and lose a few friends! [Get recipe here.]

Deep-Fried Reuben Egg Rolls. Stuffed with pastrami, sauerkraut and Swiss cheese. The sandwich of my nightmares — there’s nothing I hate worse than sauerkraut and Swiss cheese! — is Jewish/Chinese fusion for the 21st century. Kill me now. [Get recipe here.]

For the record, we won’t be eating any of this crazy shitsky at Howdygram headquarters because Sam and I prefer our own traditional Hanukkah fare, including tuna salad, Vlasic sugar-free bread & butter pickles, ice cream, peach phosphates and Tex-Mex. You can come for dinner if you want to.