Once again we’re honoring the Lone Star State’s resident putz-in-chief, Governor Rick Perry.

In this post: Rick Perry does it again, dog stories.

I almost didn’t have a chance to write a Howdygram post tonight until Sam called from the office a few minutes ago to let me know he’ll be a couple of hours late getting home from work, probably sometime after midnight. Therefore, here I am. Lucky you!

First on my agenda is our latest Putz of the Week award, once again honoring the Lone Star State’s resident putz-in-chief, Governor Rick Perry, for encouraging the Texas National Guard to refuse to process requests from same-sex couples for spousal benefits despite the Pentagon’s explicit directive to do so. Texas was the only state that turned away gay and lesbian couples on Tuesday, the first working day that gays in the military were eligible to apply for benefits. Texas, again. What a shock.

Major General John Nichols, commander of the Texas Military Forces, wrote that the state defines marriage as “between a man and a woman” so his agency would not process applications from gay and lesbian couples. He encouraged anybody affected by this issue to enroll at a federal installation instead. In a state the size of Texas, however, this involves enormous distance, enormous expense and enormous inconvenience.

“It’s truly outrageous that the state of Texas has decided to play politics with our military families,” said Stephen Peters, president of American Military Partner Association. “They’re already dealing with enough problems, and the last thing they need is more discrimination from the state of Texas.” Yup. Thanks, Rick.

This is a first for the Howdygram ... a Putz of the Week AND an Einstein Award, both in the same post! So, here’s the Einstein Award. I received an email from Change.org today asking me to sign another petition. I get these all the time because I’m exceptionally popular online as an armchair activist who enjoys contributing to various causes and candidates. This time, though, I’m awfully damn glad I read the petition carefully. A group of Einstein dog zealots is asking U.S. Attorney George Beck to donate the $500,000 seized last month from an illegal multi-state dog fighting ring to humane societies and no-kill animal shelters. Initially I thought this sounded like a great idea ... until the petition went on to explain that these funds “would give 370 dogs a chance at a normal, loving life.”

WTF, people. Half a million dollars to give 370 DOGS a normal life? Normal for who, Princess Grace? Are they flying them first-class to Monaco with diamond collars? I don’t know, call me superficial, but ... how about donating that dough to some needy CHILDREN instead? Holy crap!

I think I’ll go drown my frustration in tonight’s episode of “Top Chef Masters” and some tasty snacks. Thank you.