Please take a guess what’s for lunch today. (No, really. Guess.)

In this post: Tasty meat in a can, exploding electronics, “The Late George Apley.”

There’s so much amazing news this morning I almost don’t know where to start.

AMAZING NEWS ITEM NUMBER ONE: Last night FedEx delivered my Libby’s corned beef in a can from Wal-Mart except it arrived too late for dinner. Therefore, please take a guess what’s for lunch today. (No, really. Guess.)

In case you’re not a canned meat afficionado like moi, this is the same kind of tasty corned beef that’s used for corned beef hash, which was my #1 favorite dorm food when I was in college. (Cheez Whiz and Hostess fruit pies were #2 and #3, respectively.) Since I’m all grown up now and don’t have to eat cold crap out of a can any more I plan to heat some crushed corned beef in a frying pan for lunch with a couple of nice scrambly eggs. If you’d like to come over and give this a try today please send an email so I can make enough for two. Thank you.

AMAZING NEWS ITEM NUMBER TWO: The circuit board on our Genie Excellerator garage door opener exploded a couple of days ago so we’re having a brand new opener thingy installed on Saturday ... a Chamberlain LiftMaster 3255 that comes with an electronic control panel and a remote. We only need one remote because we only have one car, and we only have one car because I almost never leave the house unless Sam’s with me. Never mind.

AMAZING NEWS ITEM NUMBER THREE: After several years of abject frustration I finally found a DVD of my favorite movie, The Late George Apley (1947) starring Ronald Colman. Amazon has it. Apparently this is an obscure title that nobody wants to keep in stock so 20th Century Fox Cinema Archives manufactures it on demand when you place your order. And it’s only $15.49 with FREE SHIPPING! Ronald Colman and co-star Richard Haydn are pictured below for your possible interest. Everything about this movie is genuinely adorable.

It’s my plan to write another post later today because I’ve got an excellent Putz of the Week to share with you plus a review of the movie Juarez (1939), a peculiar all-star-cast blockbuster biopic starring Bette Davis and Paul Muni that was much lousier than I ever expected. In the meantime, while Sam is outside hosing down the garage I think I’ll stretch out in the family room and try to catch up on the sleep I didn’t get last night because I was hot and my feet were annoying me. Thank you for reading this.