Corn dogs, funnel cakes and pig races. It’s the Texas State Fair!

In this post: Everything you need to know about the Texas State Fair.

Come on down, y’all! The Texas State Fair opened yesterday here in Dallas and runs through October 20. While this technically means nothing much to Sam and me because we have no plans to go, the rest of Texas is having a collective cow about the state’s annual homage to corn dogs, funnel cakes and pig races.

If you’ve been following the Howdygram for any length of time you may recall a year ago (see post) when Big Tex — the State Fair’s 50-foot tall mascot — caught fire and burned to a crisp in front of several thousand horrified fairgoers with video cameras. The new Big Tex made his debut on Thursday. I regret to report that he’s basically just as goony as the old one, weighs an additional 20,000 pounds and stands five inches taller because of new boots.

Although admission at the gate this year is a whopping $17 per person, bargains abound for the cheapskates who walk among us. For instance:

1. KROGER CANNED FOOD DRIVE. Wednesday admission is $3 for any visitor bringing three cans of food for area food banks. Consider corn niblets or Spaghetti-O’s.
2. TOTALLY FREE SENIOR CITIZENS. Seniors 60 and older get in FREE on Thursdays. Caregivers pushing your wheelchair should consider using the Coke discount in #6.
3. McDONALD’s DISCOUNT. Any day of the week get $3 off general admission with a McDonald’s State Fair coupon (available on a tray liner or bag stuffer).
4. DR. PEPPER $5 TUESDAYS. Any Tuesday bring an empty Dr. Pepper can and get in for $5. Most rides (excluding the Thrillway and the Texas Star ferris wheel) are only six coupons.
5. DR. PEPPER $8 AFTER 5 P.M. Any day of the week bring an empty Dr. Pepper can and get in for $8 after 5 p.m. 
6. COKE $6 THURSDAYS. Bring an empty 20 oz. bottle of any Coca-Cola product and admission is $6. I think Dr. Pepper has a better deal, people. 
7. DICKIES DAY. Free admission on Thursday, October 3, for anybody wearing a Dickies logo clothing item. The only people who wear this stiff uncomfortable crap are COWHANDS.
8. CINEMARK FREEBIE. Fork over a Cinemark Movie Theatre ticket stub and get in free on Thursdays. And include a two-page synopsis of the actual movie and we’ll throw in a free order of Deep-Fried Butter! Just kidding.
9. CHEAPO RIDES ON TUESDAYS. Bring the kids! Bring grandma! Most Midway rides are reduced to only six coupons as part of the Dr. Pepper promotion on Tuesdays ... including Winky the Whale!

Please go away so I can eat breakfast now. Thank you for reading this.