Forty dollars is nothing to sneeze at.

Breaking news: My shuffling days are over. I can no longer get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night with my eyes closed. When you’re 60 years old with arthritis and neuropathy this once-simple activity requires a number of important and sequential steps, including: 1) turning on a light so I won’t get dizzy; 2) grabbing my cane, my robe and my trifocals; 3) shlepping down the hall to the bathroom without smashing my toes on the bench at the end of our bed; 4) accomplishing item 3 in reverse; and 5) glancing at the clock before I get back into bed and realizing I’ve been gone 22 minutes, at which point I’m wide awake and wondering if there’s any leftover chocolate pudding in the refrigerator and why not write a Howdygram post while I’m at it.

It’s hell getting old.

Sam and I had a wonderful day at the Choctaw Casino! The buffet today was actually a BIG BRUNCH HOO-HAH with lots of fun and exciting things to eat. Wonton soup with excellent wontons! Guacamole! Nice tamales! Lox and bagels! Eggs! Omelets! Tubs of bacon! Tuna salad! Biscuits! And (of course) SUGAR-FREE LEMON MERINGUE PIE! Afterwards we won some encouraging dough at the penny slots, returning home with a nice little profit of $40. This is nothing to sneeze at. Our favorite lucky slot machines are pictured below for your possible interest.

From our Only in Texas department comes the story of the Braken Bat Cave Meshweaver, an eyeless (i.e., blind) spider that’s been on the federal endangered species list for the last 12 years. Apparently somebody spotted the aforementioned blind spider a few days ago in a hole near San Antonio where the Texas Department of  Transportation was rebuilding an underpass at Route 151. “Yo, Jim-Bob, stop the back-hoe! I found me a stupid spider with NO EYES!” Seriously?

Naturally, our neanderthal GOP governor Rick “Einstein” Perry (see below) has no problem halting a $15 million highway project to protect the habitat of a crappy little spider while continuing to deny Planned Parenthood’s health care services to 200,000 poor women who need prenatal care, cancer screenings and birth control. (It’s pretty clear which species ranks higher in Texas.)

Hey, Einstein, here’s a news flash for you … TEXAS HAS ENOUGH INSECTS. Just go ahead and squish the little bastard. He’s blind. He’ll never know who did it.

I need to watch a movie now. Thank you for reading this.