Happy birthday, Egg McMuffin.

I’m looking at an insane forecast on Weather.com. The high temperature here will be 104° every day until Saturday, at which time it plummets 20 degrees into the mid-80s with no explanation, no rain, no storms, no nothing except for an obvious “cold front” that sneaks into town with no fanfare whatsoever. I was hoping we’d at least get a few juicy thunderstorms and I’m pissed. I’d write a letter if I could figure out who’s responsible for this travesty.

So is everybody watching the Democratic Convention this week? I like the coverage on MSNBC and managed to hang in there for about five hours last night, recording the best speeches for Sam so he could watch when he got home from work. The highlights (for me, anyway) were Deval Patrick and Michelle Obama, both delivering the speeches of a lifetime. I think Deval Patrick’s oratory is right up there with Ted Kennedy’s (damn, I miss him) and Michelle was so spectacular I sat all by myself cheering, crying and clapping with a bowl of soup on my lap. I also found time to squeeze in yesterday’s episodes of “Hardcore Pawn” and “People’s Court.” It’s a full life.

Just in case you haven’t been to a good party lately, please note that McDonald’s iconic breakfast slider, the ever-popular Egg McMuffin, is officially 40 years old! In some ways I find this hard to believe; in other ways I don’t give a crap. I buy knockoffs from Schwan’s that taste fine, microwave in less than two minutes and you don’t have to wear shoes or waste half an hour at the drive-through.

In other news, I’m expecting three exciting UPS deliveries this afternoon! These include: 1) a new desk chair for Howdygram headquarters; 2) six Hodgson Mill bread machine mixes in Sam’s favorite flavor (rye) because I love him; and 3) a replacement electronic kitchen thermometer so I won’t screw up the yeast. Tomorrow I’m expecting two large boxes of Lactaid chewables from Wal-Mart (yes, friends, on top of everything else I’m also lactose intolerant) and a crate of eagerly-anticipated low-carb crapola — coffee cake! cherry pie filling! whole wheat bread machine mixes! — from Netrition.com. If it wasn’t so damn hot outside I’d wait on the front doorstep.

I just realized I haven’t eaten lunch yet. I don’t know about you, but I think this is scary.