I’m married to a Jewish plumber! Who knew?

As a brief update to last night’s post, I’ve got some hot news from Howdygram headquarters. Glorioski ... SAM JUST FIXED OUR BACKED-UP KITCHEN SINK! I began my day at 8 a.m. with a call to our handyman, who said he’s leaving for vacation and can’t come over but the first thing we should try — before calling anybody — is checking the trap by ourselves. He told me what to do, I told Sam, and holy crap … IT WORKED. I’m married to a Jewish plumber! Who knew?

Sam and I are definitely a power team. I design websites, he fixes plumbing. We can rule the world.

Grocery alert from the Howdygram Test Kitchen! Yesterday Sam bought me a box of Jimmy Dean’s frozen three-cheese omelets from Albertson’s. In case you’re wondering, they’re good but definitely not better than Schwan’s. Plus Schwan’s delivers, and everybody knows a delivered omelet tastes better. Period.

Here’s an excellent reason to start your Hanukkah shopping early. From an apparently useless company called Popcorn Indiana comes a desktop device called the “Popinator,” a voice-activated popcorn bazooka that shoots kernels into your mouth from across the room when you say the word “POP.”



While admittedly this would be a pretty cool gadget for cubicles, hospital rooms and board of directors meetings, just imagine a few of the other possibilities if a clever dude could tweak the design, such as “GEFILTE FISH,” “MONGOLIAN CHICKEN” or “CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP.”

Ahoy, mateys! The Howdygram is pleased to announce that tomorrow is Talk Like A Pirate Day, and if you show up at Krispy Kreme in costume you’ll get a dozen donuts FREE at participating locations! (The Howdygram suggests that you call ahead so you won’t feel like a moron.)

But wait, there’s more! Talk like a pirate at Long John Silver’s tomorrow and you’ll also get a lump of FREE FISH with any purchase! This isn’t quite as generous as the deal from Krispy Kreme, but what the hell. At least you won’t starve, right? Now all you need is free mouthwash from Walgreen’s and you’ll be set for life.

Thank you for reading this.