Dennis Rodman is the Howdygram’s Putz of the Week.

Important things first. You may or may not be aware that the Howdygram’s spring Gefilte Fish Festival was slated to begin on March 12. Unfortunately, I regret to report that it’s being postponed due to snow in New England and a wimpy driver for the KC Kosher Co-Op who can’t make it to the warehouse this weekend to load his truck. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, an earlier post from February 1 will provide a little background. At this point all I can say is, I’m stuck with three big jars of horseradish and ZERO GEFILTE FISH. Please stay tuned for late-breaking updates. Thank you.

Behind the Candelabra premieres on HBO May 26, a biopic about Liberace and the attractive live-in chauffeur half his age who famously sued him for palimony. I have no idea what the hell lured a couple of A-listers like Michael Douglas and Matt Damon into a screwy made-for-TV project like this unless HBO offered them each $15 million and a free lifetime supply of hair gel.

Frankly, I think this magazine cover is frightening because Michael Douglas’ face is so grotesquely over-Photoshopped that he’s turned into a completely different person, as the image below clearly illustrates. WTF.

And now I’m pleased to announce the Howdygram’s latest Putz of the Week! It’s former basketball celebrity Dennis Rodman, who just returned from a good will tour of North Korea, the garden spot of Asia, planned in its entirety without approval from the U.S. State Department because nobody in their right mind would ever willingly set foot in North Korea. How the hell do you even get there?

North Korea is a famine-ridden slab of utter misery ruled by Kim Jong Un, the well-fed twentysomething son of a deceased cult leader. The aforementioned well-fed son threatens at least once a week to launch a pre-emptive nuclear strike against the United States even though North Korea does not, technically, have the skill or wherewithal to tie a nuclear bomb onto a ballistic missile. It is commonly believed that he continues to make these imbecilic threats in order to justify starving his citizens to pay for military expansion and lots of uniforms. North Koreans LOVE uniforms. They also love to inform on their friends and relatives in exchange for food and face life in forced labor camps for refusing to do so.

Rodman, a weird, pierced, card-carrying putz who’s never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, might want to be a little more discriminating in his choice of buddies. During his visit to North Korea he forged a bond with the little tinpot dictator — calling him a “terrific kid” who’s “loved by his people” — that’s already gotten him kicked out of a fancy hotel for refusing to shut the hell up about it, particularly since the aforementioned terrific kid continues to threaten a nuclear holocaust. In case you haven’t seen it, check out Rodman’s appalling interview with George Stephanopoulos on ABC. Holy crap.

There’s rain in the forecast here this weekend. The lying sacks of poo at Weather.com are predicting a 70% chance for tomorrow — including thunder — but I’ll believe it when I see it. We haven’t had rain in such a long time I almost don’t remember what it looks like. Thank you for reading this.