Today is a pickles & biscuits kind of day!

The sun is shining, it’s 78° and today is a pickles & biscuits kind of day! I’m actually leaning towards Five-Minute Stupid Soup for dinner, but what the hell ... I can do pickles & biscuits tomorrow instead.

A brief thought from today’s “whine list.” I got up again in the middle of the night feeling weird and wobbly, this time with symptoms that included: 1) low blood sugar; 2) a runny nose; 3) dizziness; 4) electric shocks in my right ankle; 5) tingly hands; and 6) a craving for Velveeta. I researched WebMD.com for almost an hour and regret to report that these six symptoms apparently appear together nowhere in the annals of medical science. Items 1, 3, 4 and 5 clearly are linked to my diabetes; it’s 2 and 6 that baffle me. If you have any insight into this situation please send me an email and offer as much free advice as possible. Thank you in advance.

Next, for your possible interest ... a Wednesday recap! There were a number of huge hoo-hahs going on here and I thought you might like to know how they all turned out. Or not.

Huge hoo-hah #1. I was still in bed yesterday morning when Macy’s showed up to swap the saggy sectional in our family room. The new sofa looks beautiful and we’re happy as hell to have a free do-over. Sam briefly mentioned why don’t we get a gigantic plastic slipcover but I doubt if he’s ever tried to take a nap on plastic.

Huge hoo-hah #2. Our maid was here in the afternoon, and once again Howdygram headquarters is spotless and adorable. Let me know if you want her phone number because she does a terrific job and even cleans baseboards, silk plants and the inside of your refrigerator. She’s also really cheap.

Huge hoo-hah #3. My big Gefilte Fish Excursion was a resounding success (see previous post). The entire procedure was efficient and nicely organized, with dozens of adorable little bar mitzvah boys running up and down the street distributing crates of kosher food to a line of waiting vehicles. I was home by 6:15 and eating gefilte fish by 6:30. I will definitely buy from the KC Kosher Co-Op again! Their next Dallas delivery is April 23 and I’m ordering cases of Ba-tampte Half-Sour Pickles (six jars) and Carmel Kosher Chicken Soup Mix (12 canisters). Let me know if you want to come for dinner.

Huge hoo-hah #4. Last night Sam and I finally tore into the two gigantic cartons from Netrition.com that arrived on Tuesday and spread the bounty all over the kitchen table, which currently resembles a Kroger warehouse (see below). So much fabulous crap, and it’s all for me!

My next project involves trying to put everything away, although I might have to wait for Sam to get home from work because it’s not easy to shelp armloads of groceries when you’re a senior citizen with a cane and only have one available hand. Servants would be helpful except I don’t know any.

And now it’s time for dinner. I’m having a big pot of Stupid Soup (mentioned at the beginning of this post) and a beautiful slab of the low-carb bread I made last night. I’ll enjoy dessert during “Project Runway” ... a low-carb milk chocolate bar dunked into Walden Farms zero-calorie marshmallow dip. I’m hyperventilating. Thank you for reading this.