The Howdygram is officially 15 pixels wider today.

I’m just full of excuses lately. I didn’t make time to write a Howdygram post yesterday because my world was jam-packed with other important projects. These included eating lunch, thinking about laundry, finishing up two client projects and placing my biggest order EVER with Netrition.com for more than $200 worth of incredible low-carb crapola. In my cart were: 1) Soy Slender soy chocolate milk; 2) unsweetened Almond Breeze almond milk; 3) three jars of Carb Not Beanit Butter; 4) Carb Counters pancake mix; 5) MimicCreme Almond & Cashew Cream; 6) Thick’n Saucy for making sludgy soup; 7) erythritol powdered sweetener; 8) a three-pound box of CarbQuik because I can’t live without my low-carb biscuits; 9) Atkins snack bars; 10) four packages of white bread mix; 11) Just the Cheese chips and “popped cheese” (seriously) in assorted awesome flavors like pizza, barbecue and jalapeño; 12) LorAnn blackberry and lemon custard milk shake flavorings; 13) four jars of Bella Vita pasta sauce; 14) a tin of Ghiradelli unsweetened cocoa; and 15) various Walden Farms zero-calorie whatnots, such as fruit spreads, pancake syrup and marshmallow dip. Oy! A number of the aforementioned products have agreed to pose for the group photo posted below.

Quite a few of these products are listed and described on the Howdygram’s Shop for My Favorite Crapola page; others will get there eventually once I’ve had a chance to try them. This time I’m especially excited about MimicCreme (no fat! no carbs!) and Walden Farms Marshmallow Dip (no calories!). Since words really can’t do these products justice I’ll simply scream GLORIOSKI and move on.

Before I forget, below are my latest new font acquisitions, all of them free. Enjoy.

Please let me know if you ever flip for any fonts posted on the Howdygram and I’ll be glad to email copies to you. I may be addicted but I’m always willing to share! Many of them include lots of different styles and weights such as light, book, medium, semi-bold, bold, black, italics and so on. My general belief has always been that a girl can never have too many fonts, shoes or low-carb biscuits.

And now for the latest breaking news from our God Bless Texas department! The long-awaited George W. Bush Presidential Center on the campus of Southern Methodist University here in Dallas will be christened at a private ceremony on April 25. Dubya and Laura will be in attendance along with assorted losers from the Bush/Cheney administration. The Center includes a comic book library, museum, rose garden and a “think tank,” the latter of which is pictured below.

The Center’s website has posted the following statement: “With world leaders invited to join President and Mrs. Bush for this historic day, the event is expected to enjoy internationally-televised coverage.” Yup. Along with a few thousand protesters from a coalition of human rights organizations called “The People’s Response” (see below), who will be on hand to make a huge hoo-hah about the Bush administration’s policies and a belated demand for a war crimes trial. Many also have been fighting the location of the Bush Center at SMU since the very beginning because it “casts a veneer of legitimacy” on policies that run opposite to the university’s teachings and philosophy, such as torture, the invasion of a sovereign nation (Iraq) and crushing stupidity. Protests will include teach-ins, art, speakers and a dance party for peace. Rock on, Dallas!

On a more somber note, our regular Schwan’s delivery doofus, Gary, was involved in a work-related truck accident last week and BROKE HIS BACK. Apparently the situation is fixable (i.e., he’s not paralyzed) but please hold a good thought for him, okay? We’re hoping Gary will be back on the job shlepping frozen food as soon as possible. Our order yesterday was delivered by a friendly substitute doofus named Mark.

Sam has a follow-up appointment this morning with his retina specialist, Dr. Choi. You may recall that Sam had surgery on February 22 to repair a “macular pucker” (see previous post) behind the retina in his right eye. I suppose his recovery has been fine, although he still can’t see very well and says there’s a bubble of water rattling around in there. Holy crap.

In case you care, the main column of the Howdygram is officially 15 pixels wider today to bring you even more of the horseshit you’ve come to know and love. I have no idea why I did it or, more importantly, why I felt compelled to report it. Thank you for reading this.