I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I need servants.

Life sure can suck sometimes. I woke up half an hour ago with congestion and an irritating, raspy cough ... something I haven’t experienced since I quit smoking a couple of centuries ago. (I might be kidding about this. It’s more like six years.) I’ll bet my voice is sounding deeper, too, but it’s hard to know for sure because Sam is still asleep and there’s nobody around to talk to so I’ll have to get back to you on this. In the meantime I shlepped into the kitchen to make tea but couldn’t find any tea bags, so I made a huge mug of instant coffee instead and then spilled half of it all over the kitchen counter.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I need SERVANTS.

Any exciting activities on your agenda this week? Mine will be jam-packed with projects that include laundry, making Beanit Butter cookies, printing and assembling my new teeny recipe binder, eating things, plus all of the following deliveries:

1. A two-pound breast of smoked turkey from FoodyDirect.com.
2. Teeny sheet protectors and teeny tabs from Staples.com for the aforementioned teeny recipe binder. (It’s 8½" x 5½".)
3. Cans of beef textured vegetable protein and whole egg powder from Shelf Reliance. I absolutely LOVE this crap!
4. A set of ivory microfiber sheets from Wal-Mart. Seriously, people, there’s nowhere else on earth you can buy nice king-size sheets for $22.97 except possibly Angola.
5. Slim Jims, Miracle Rice, six cartons of chicken stock, Fixodent and a couple of twin-pack refill thingies for my Febreze Noticeables electric air fresheners ... all on subscription from Amazon.

I just looked at Weather.com and apparently there’s some seriously crappy winter weather underway right now in Chicago and all over the Great Lakes, such as snow, wind and freezing rain. This is one more reason why I love Texas! Winter here lasts about 10 days at the beginning of January and rarely, if ever, includes snow. This week Howdygram headquarters is expecting steady temperatures around 70° with a 40% chance of rain on Tuesday and there’s nothing whatsoever to shovel unless we’re discussing manure.

Thanks for stopping by. I think I’ll try going back to bed for a while.