There’s a definite advantage to insomnia.

All’s well at Howdygram headquarters at this hour, where Sam and I are unwinding from an 18-hour napfest highlighted by frequent breaks for large quantities of food. Welcome to our world.

We just finished watching a rerun of Game Change on HBO. You know, that TV movie about the McCain/Palin campaign where everybody finally figured out that Sarah Palin was a vacuous, moose-hunting bimbo who wound up scaring the crap out of everybody in the United States and losing the election for the GOP, although they never really had a chance with or without her. I’m just saying.

In case you give a crap about this, the 2013 Texas Bigfoot Conference is currently underway at the Convention Center in Forth Worth. This is an annual hoo-hah sponsored by the Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy (TBRC) for an eager throng of local whack-jobs willing to spend $75 for a variety of events celebrating all things Sasquatch, including seminars, a celebrity meet & greet and a fur-optional cocktail reception. This year’s keynote speaker is Harry Knucklesucker, pictured at right, a representative of the greater Bigfoot community who’s also a middle school P.E. teacher and weekend greeter at Wal-Mart on Highway 84 in Lubbock.

Jeff Meldrum, a professor of Anthropology and a leading Bigfoot researcher, recounted a close encounter of his own. He said, “We’ve had things rifling through backpacks. We’ve had things throwing rocks at us. I’ve found fresh footprints.” Holy crap. If all this sounds too good to miss, please take a minute or two to check out this website and get yourself on the mailing list for 2014, God willing. Thank you.

There’s a definite advantage to insomnia. It gives you an opportunity to stay up all night ordering weird crap from FoodyDirect.com where you can buy amazing shitsky from restaurants all over the United States, such as two pounds of smoked turkey that’s scheduled to arrive on Tuesday packed in a crate of dry ice.

In my case, the smoked turkey is from Black’s Barbecue (pictured below), an iconic dining establishment located just south of Austin in Lockhart, Texas. I love smoked turkey. Please let me know if you want to come for dinner.

It’s almost 2 a.m. and I’m still wide awake, so this might be a good time to continue working on a new website project for a client in Los Angeles and finish typing my growing collection of low-carb recipes. I’m putting together a large-print edition for the kitchen in a three-ring binder with tabs and sheet protectors. I need a life, right?

Thank you for reading this.