Relief efforts are underway. The Red Cross is requesting beer and barbecue sauce.

In this post: Casino capers, earthquake relief, the Duggars make me sick.

Even though Sam and I enjoyed our drive to Oklahoma this morning, this actually turned out NOT to be a very good day for me at the Choctaw Casino for the following reasons: 1) I woke up with crappy joint pain even though I had more than enough sleep and felt not too bad otherwise; 2) my taste buds were virtually nonexistent today — blame it on diabetic neuropathy — and everything on the buffet had NO FLAVOR WHATSOEVER including the pea salad and sugar-free pie I’ve been obsessing about for the last two months; and 3) I lost $40 at the penny slots. FORTY BUCKS! You have to be awfully damn lame (not to mention SERIOUSLY UNLUCKY) to pull off a stunt like that. On the plus side, however, the scooter rental was pleasant as hell and Sam won an excellent jackpot at the Cash Wizard slot machine!

There’s breaking news today from suburban Fort Worth. Police dispatchers in Richland Hills, North Richland Hills, Haltom City and Hurst say they received calls on Friday afternoon asking about an EARTHQUAKE. The United States Geological Survey is reporting that a 2.1 magnitude quake was centered one mile southeast of Richland Hills just before noon. Frankly, I’m surprised anybody can feel a 2.1 earthquake. I’ve had gas pains worse than that. The map below indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters in Mesquite; and B) what’s left of North Richland Hills. I hear relief efforts are underway. The Red Cross is requesting beer and barbecue sauce.

In case you’ve never heard of these people, Michelle Duggar has 19 children and she’s married to a dickwad named Jim Bob (no lie) who made his family famous by turning his wife’s uterus into the birthplace of a congressional district in Arkansas.

Michelle is on a mission. She thinks it’s important for everybody to know that she’s in charge of raising obedient, ladylike Christian girlie-girls and wrote recently in her blog: “My nine daughters are the second generation of modest dressing in this family.” Which means WHAT, exactly? Grandma was a slut? The Duggars are disturbing to me on a number of different levels (this sickening picture, for starters) but mostly because they’re an expanded version of the Rick Santorum family. HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP.

It’s 9:30 Saturday night, I haven’t eaten since 11 a.m. and I think I need some food. Thank you for reading this.