Sam to the rescue.

In this post: Club Meds, reverse insomnia, flying cheese.

Bear with me while I kvetch for a few minutes, okay? I had an insane night of fitful sleep that eventually rendered me unconscious on the chaise in the family room from 8:15 this morning until shortly after 12 noon. Sam was probably convinced I’d been drugged by foreign agents. I tried twice but COULD NOT WAKE UP. Around 12:30 I finally began speaking in sentences, staggered into the kitchen to make Sam’s sandwich for work and unintentionally launched a pound of neatly sliced pepper jack cheese across the room when the Ziploc bag crapped-out. At this point crying was the only option left because my legs were killing me, I was still mostly asleep and I knew I couldn’t achieve grand-scale cheese retrieval without professional help. (Translation: Sam to the rescue.) But that’s not all, folks. My body temperature is 95.2°, my fingers feel like icicles and I’ve got a craving for GRILLED CHEESE AND SWEET PICKLES.

In case you’ve been keeping up with my ongoing Club Meds adventures, Dr. M has prescribed Vitamin D capsules — I’m guessing I must be anemic again — in addition to Fenofibrate for my cholesterol and triglycerides. According to WebMD.com, Fenofibrate may cause some of the same side effects as those miserable statin drugs that nearly killed me a few months back but apparently the problems are much less common or widespread. These include severe muscle fatigue, unusual tiredness, sore throat, fever and growing new toes. (I might be kidding about the toes.) Dr. M is starting me out on a low dose (45 mg) to see what’s what and we’ll increase it in three months if everything’s going well. Just between us, I hate experimenting with new prescriptions because the results usually suck.

Stay tuned for additional updates but please feel free to continue your normal daily routine in the meantime.