Get a life, Donald. You’re an embarrassment.

So here’s what’s happening today at Howdygram headquarters! First, I woke up sometime in the middle the night to pee and discovered I was having a hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) episode which, in case you’re unfamiliar with this condition, feels like a combination of severe intoxication, altitude sickness and having a stroke. I ricocheted into the study to suck a few glucose tablets until I felt stronger but never actually went back to bed. A juicy nap is at the top of my afternoon agenda. I’m also hungry.

For your possible interest, below are my favorite hypoglycemia emergency supplies: 1) tasty chewable glucose tablets to raise my blood sugar; and 2) a handy plastic keychain thingy that holds four tablets in case I’m away from home. Both of these products are exceptionally cheap and I bought them online at Wal-Mart.

Second, by now all of you probably have seen and heard Donald Trump’s “big big announcement” about President Obama ... the “October surprise” that he promised would rock the universe and change the course of the election (see my last post). Donald’s horseshit of the day? If President Obama will produce his college transcripts and passport application, Trump will donate $5 million to the charity of his choice.

While the idiot pictured above is still desperately trying to find any shred of evidence, genuine or manufactured, to prove that President Obama was born in Kenya, the rest of us — you know, citizens with actual brains — are more concerned that Mitt Romney: 1) hasn’t disclosed his tax returns; 2) has no grasp of foreign policy; 3) can’t wait to repeal women’s rights to reproductive choice; and 4) still hasn’t revealed the details of his platform’s mystery financial plan. Holy crap, Donald ... GET A LIFE ALREADY. You’re the GOP’s answer to Honey Boo Boo! (Translation: an embarrassment.)

And while I’m on the subject, in case you’re still unfamiliar with loudmouthed Honey Boo Boo and her redneck relatives, here’s an opportunity check out the brat’s recent (attempted) interview with Dr. Drew. Mama June is seated next to her. They eat a steady diet of road kill, Pop Tarts and ramen noodles.



I just lost my appetite. Thank you for reading this.