The State Fair of Texas unveils “New Tex”.

In case you were wondering what happened to me yesterday, I was too busy doing practically nothing to write a Howdygram post. I’m really good at doing nothing. It’s an acquired skill. Over the years I’ve learned how to waste more time than an entire crew of streets & sanitation workers. Yesterday this included: 1) making a pot of Marcy’s Revolutionary Bean Soup; 2) two naps; 3) pondering laundry; and 4) I can’t think of anything else. At the moment it’s the wee hours of Sunday morning. Sam (the intelligent one) is sound asleep, and I’m in the study with TicTacs.

I love my life. I also love TicTacs.

There’s some late-breaking news from the Lone Star State this morning! Following the tragic fire on Friday that destroyed the Texas State Fair’s beloved mascot (see earlier post), the 2013 State Fair Organizing Committee has announced plans for “New Tex,” a replacement modeled after a local good ol’ boy — yup, it’s Sam! — with appropriate wardrobe and a LOT more personality than his predecessor. (His predecessor technically had the personality of driftwood.)

Sam and I watched a couple of powerful movies last night, back-to-back: A Face in the Crowd (1957) starring Andy Griffith and Patricia Neal, and Elmer Gantry (1960) with Burt Lancaster and Jean Simmons.

In A Face in the Crowd Andy Griffith is Lonesome Rhodes, a loud, penniless, ex-con country boy with a guitar who’s “discovered” by a publicist (Patricia Neal) and eventually pushed into instant celebrity with his own national TV show. Rhodes morphs into a soulless, power-hungry demagogue of the worst degree whose life turns to total crap at the end after he’s exposed for what he really is. Typical quote: “This whole country’s just like a flock of sheep. Rednecks, crackers, hillbillies, hausfraus, shut-ins, pea-pickers, everybody that’s gotta jump when somebody else blows the whistle. They’re mine! I own ‘em!”

Elmer Gantry is pretty much the identical story, except you get Burt Lancaster as a loud, penniless, ex-con vacuum cleaner salesman who ends up preaching at revival meetings. I don’t think he had a guitar.

I should try going back to bed. It’s almost 5:45 and Sam will freak out if I’m still awake when he gets up an hour from now. He’s going hiking at Lavon Lake this morning with a friend, two dogs, bottled water and a couple of Clif bars. The map below indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters in Mesquite; and B) Lavon Lake, which is located in the middle of nowhere.

For the record, I don’t hike. Hell, I barely walk. Some days it takes every ounce of strength I’ve got just to make the bed and eat things. On the plus side, however, I still enjoy laundry, which is at the top of my “do” list today providing I get some sleep. Thank you for reading this and don’t forget to shut the lights when you’re done.