Did you ever consider blowing your brains out?

Show of hands. Did you ever consider blowing your brains out? At the moment I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know what to do first, a situation that’s exacerbated by a severe lack of sleep and no cookies.

My breaking point just arrived in an email from a client in South Carolina who wants a complete overhaul of the beautiful (and excruciatingly complex) website I designed for him last spring. Before I even had a chance to grab some drugs for my impending migraine he proceeded to forward 15 enormous zip files holding 50 to 75 photos in each, a six-page Word document with text changes, and a long-winded email packed with ideas, a three-level PowerPoint bullet list, hand-drawn diagrams and instructions that could have been written by a fourth-grader. I DON’T WANT THIS PROJECT. For the last couple of years I’ve been trying to scale back my business and retire, so the last thing I need right now is a complicated pile of horseshit that’s beyond the scope of my ambition, patience and concentration. Sam thinks I should just charge the guy a fortune and make it worth my while except, in reality, I’M NOT INTERESTED AT ANY PRICE.

Holy crap, people.

If you’ve got any helpful suggestions please send an email at your earliest possible convenience. In the meantime I’m going to anesthetize myself with pickles and biscuits. Thank you.