Meet Louie Gohmert, our Putz of the Week and king of the conspiracy theories.

Hello, and welcome to Saturday night at Howdygram headquarters! I almost didn’t write a post tonight but changed my mind at the last minute. Sam is conked out in the family room watching a screwy movie from the 1960s called Wake Me When It’s Over starring Ernie Kovacs and Don Knotts, but personally I’m feeling a little restless and think maybe it would be fun to hop in the car and drive all over downtown Dallas for a while. Except I’d have to wear shoes and a brassiere, and I’m definitely not motivated enough for anything as radical as THAT. So the hell with it.

Know what? It’s time for a Putz of the Week award! Tonight we’re honoring another Texan because there’s no shortage of politicians in this state who clearly suffer from blunt head trauma. Our latest honoree is GOP Congressman Louie Gohmert, the patron saint of marginally-literate east Texas racists, a card-carrying “birther” and king of the conspiracy theories, who claims to have a handle on how America can avoid future tragedies like the Boston Marathon terror bombing: Build a great big wall to keep out radical Mexican fundamentalists.

Gohmert told CSPAN, “We know Al Qaeda has camps with the drug cartels on the other side of the Mexican border. We know that people are now being trained to come in and act like Mexicans when they’re radical Islamics. We know these things are happening and it’s just insane not to protect ourselves.” Except pretending to be an undocumented Mexican to avoid suspicion with Texas law enforcement is maybe the lousiest infiltration strategy EVER.

And there’s not a single shred of evidence that what he says is true. As usual.

Louie Gohmert, incidentally, is the same putz who made that infamous conspiracy speech to Congress in 2010 about the danger of “terror babies” and then ranted like a lunatic in an interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, which appears below for your possible interest and amusement. Just one more shining moment for the Lone Star State. Holy crap. (You deserve a round of applause if you can sit through the entire video without shoving your foot through the screen.)



I think I might need a nice movie now and a late-night snack, maybe a bag of low-carb Lowrey’s microwave bacon curls and a sour cream dip or pickles & biscuits. (I love pickles & biscuits.) See you tomorrow, okay?