The “Chicken Not” verdict is in.

It’s been a peculiar Sunday around here with both of us on opposite schedules. Sam’s awake when I’m asleep, I’m awake when Sam’s asleep. And on and on. But somehow we figured out how to eat dinner at the same time and even watched White Cargo (1942), an unintentionally hilarious film set on a rubber plantation in 1910 Africa starring Walter Pidgeon and unforgettable Hedy Lamarr as a half-breed named Tondelayo. Oy, who could ever forget Tondelayo?!

As promised, here’s my review of Chicken Not, the freeze-dried texturized soy protein meat replacement mentioned in a previous post. When thrown into a pot of soup and rehydrated, Chicken Not is simultaneously soggy, chewy and virtually tasteless with a texture like a latex sponge. The only positive: it looks like chicken, which would be acceptable in the event you only want to stare at your soup but not actually EAT it. From now on the official favorite meal at Howdygram headquarters is pickles & low-carb biscuits, period.

Thank you for reading this. I mean it.