I’ve always been a fan of heart-pounding Auntie Em weather.

While Sam is at Wal-Mart shopping for a short list of Monday morning essentials — i.e., Coke Zero, feta cheese, turkey for sandwiches and a sack of shredded cabbage — I’ve been in the kitchen baking a speedy loaf of low-carb bread. For the record, this is actually an amazing packaged mix from Netrition.com that bakes in 85 minutes in the bread machine and only has 18 carbs in the ENTIRE LOAF. That’s fewer carbs than one stinking slice of Sam’s favorite store-bought bread! Holy crap, right?

I also plan to make myself a nice big bowl of egg salad for lunch. I love egg salad, and there’s nothing better than egg salad with a hunk of fresh bread and a William Powell movie on the side. Also a few pickles.

My favorite hall lamp died Saturday night after a year-long battle with whatever deadly disease can befall an inexpensive light fixture. Basically the silly thing just won’t turn on any more even with a new bulb, so a few minutes ago I ordered us a nice $15 replacement, pictured below, from Wal-Mart’s website. There’s no need to apologize if you can’t get excited about this. (I’m not too excited about it, either.)

Looks like some heavy weather is forecast for the Dallas area tomorrow and Wednesday, a huge potential tornado hoo-hah involving warm air heading north from the Gulf of Mexico. While I’ve always been a fan of heart-pounding Auntie Em weather, I hope it’s not quite as intense as the hoo-hah we had one year ago with 17 twisters on the same day. Stay tuned for updates, okay? Thank you.