I really like money.

My head was definitely in a very weird place yesterday, as evidenced by the Howdygram post about blowing my brains out (click here). Holy crap, people. See what happens when you’re exhausted, unwell, crabby and battling food poisoning? I was ready to dump a lucrative client project, close my business, flush my phone down the toilet and hide under a rock! So ... after spending a little time this afternoon scrutinizing the aforementioned project I realize that I may have overreacted and decided to provide a quote for labor.

I will follow Sam’s advice, however, and charge this dude a fortune. Fair is fair. Every hour I spend redesigning his website is one less hour I’ve got for Melvyn Douglas movies and “People’s Court.” Also, I really like money.

From our Avoid It Like the Plague department comes the Howdygram’s official product review of Walden Farms Tomato & Basil Pasta Sauce, which is certifiably the most disgusting crap I’ve ever had in my mouth. I tried a dollop today for lunch with my Schwan’s mozzarella sticks and couldn’t swallow the first bite.

Like all Walden Farms products, their pasta sauce contains no fat, no sugar, no carbs, no protein, no calories and no “real food.” Its ingredients include xanthan gum (for texture), a mountain of liquid Splenda and an untold array of mystery ingredients, one of which has to be anise because I detected a strong (and thoroughly nauseating) licorice flavor profile. Also celery seed, crankcase oil, mucilage, fertilizer and lighter fluid. I’m actually being kind.

In other food news, I just finished hard-boiling a dozen very nice jumbo eggs. This, in and of itself, is really no large deal whatsoever, except that it’s my plan tonight to make a gigantic tub of egg salad, another loaf of low-carb bread and a batch of Beanit Butter cookies with sugar-free chocolate chips. Once again Sam won’t be home from work until 5 a.m. so I’ll fill my free time with “Project Runway,” injecting insulin and eating things. Let me know if you want to come over. Thank you very much.