Tonight’s menu: Practically Spaghetti and Meat Sauce.

Hi, kids. It’s me, Marcy! Remember the $15 lamp I ordered from Wal-Mart.com (see post) a couple of days ago? Sam assembled the silly thing this morning and it’s actually cute. VERY cute. And they even included a free 40-watt CFL bulb, one of those new environmentally-friendly corkscrew things. I’m impressed. When was the last time you bought a lamp at any price that included a free bulb?

There’s a big brou-ha-ha developing here in the Dallas area over a proposal by Texas State Representative Dan Branch to rename an eight-mile stretch of our North Central Expressway for George W. Bush. The backlash, as you might expect, has been nothing short of fierce. As I see it, there are three major arguments against this travesty.

• Argument #1. We already have a huge George H.W. Bush Turnpike (named for Dubya’s father) that’s referred to simply as “the Bush.” I wouldn’t joke about this.
• Argument #2. Dallas recently renamed a major boulevard near Southern Methodist University “George Bush Avenue” because it’s adjacent to Dubya’s new presidential library.
• Argument #3. George W. Bush makes everybody sick, including Republicans and especially me.

Aside from the fact that naming yet another major Dallas artery for somebody named Bush would cause far too much confusion — i.e., “take the Bush to the Bush and go south on the Bush” — plenty of us have a real problem with who it’s being named for. Although Representative Branch insists this would only involve renaming a “small section” of the North Central Expressway, it happens to be the most important section ... an eight-mile stretch through all of downtown and the historical and cultural epicenter of the city. George W. Bush may live here, but we sure as hell don’t have to turn this into a never-ending celebration. Holy crap.

Join the fight — especially if you live in Texas — and sign this petition. Thank y’all.

And as long as I’m into politics and petitions (for a nice change of pace, right?), I hope you’ll sign this petition to encourage President Obama NOT TO CUT SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS. In an effort to spark budget talks he volunteered to include a miserable GOP proposal for “chained CPI,” a program that Republicans like to pretend is a smart solution to Social Security cost of living adjustments. In truth, chained CPI is a serious cut to benefits that hurts senior citizens ... and in case you’ve forgotten, I AM A SENIOR CITIZEN.

At the moment I’m also a hungry senior citizen, so I think I’ll mosey into the kitchen and whip up a big pot of Practically Spaghetti and Meat Sauce. This involves two bags of zero-calorie Miracle Noodles, half a jar of low-carb Bella Vita pasta sauce, hot pepper flakes, two drops of EZ Sweetz (no kidding, two drops!), half a cup of Thrive rehydrated beef TVP and a heap o’ parmesan cheese. This is damn good stuff, people. DAMN GOOD. And it tastes even better when you’re watching “Project Runway.”

Thank you for reading this.