Holy crap! Two in a row!

This has been another incredible day at Howdygram headquarters ... two in a row! First, I had leftover spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner again tonight, and second, I received another order from Netrition this afternoon with a couple of products I’m trying for the very first time. They are: 1) a zero-carb meat loaf mix that you moosh into ground beef in lieu of bread crumbs; and 2) low-carb instant tapioca pudding. Tapioca pudding, people! TAPIOCA PUDDING! I’m so excited I could scream! Instead I’ll just post the following brilliant photos of famous people with teeny faces. (Yes, these were Photoshopped. No, I don’t know who did it.) I think Teeny Obama is my favorite.

And now, like it or not, it’s my plan to devote an entire paragraph of this post to the glories of FREEZE-DRIED GROUND BEEF, which is easily the most amazing invention ever with the possible exception of space travel, penicillin and corn pads. I buy the gallon-size can of Thrive freeze-dried ground beef from Shelf Reliance, as pictured below.

These are very nice big crumbles of fully-cooked REAL GROUND BEEF. You only rehydrate exactly as much as you need — as opposed to defrosting your beef by the pound — in about three minutes, after which you can fling it into sauce, soup, casseroles, tacos or birthday cake! (Just kidding about the birthday cake.) Please try this product. Thank you.

In case you missed this in the news, apparently the online version of China’s Communist Party newspaper reprinted a story yesterday from The Onion naming North Korea’s dictator Kim Jong Un as the “Sexiest Man Alive” ... not realizing that it’s satire. On Tuesday The People’s Daily ran a 55-page photo spread on its website with the headline “North Korea’s top leader named The Onion’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2012.” Oy, those wacky Chinese. Won’t they ever learn?

Quoting The Onion’s spoof, the Chinese newspaper wrote: “With his devastatingly handsome round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heart-throb is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile.” HOLY CRAP.

And now, just for fun, it’s time to fill up my pill sorter for the coming week and inject some insulin. I should mention here that I take Atorvastatin, the Lipitor generic manufactured by Ranbaxy Pharmaceuticals that’s being recalled for containing SPECKS OF GLASS. I was further disturbed that the FDA is not instructing patients to return the drug or stop taking it, so I called Wal-Mart when I first read about this and the pharmacist insisted the contaminated pills didn’t affect Wal-Mart stores. Yeah, right.

The Powerball lottery jackpot tonight is half a billion dollars. Half a billion! When you buy your ticket shout “Howdygram!” for good luck, and if you win please send me half. Thank you for reading this.