Waiting for Brutus at dawn with a Schwan’s Egg Mock-Muffin.

I’ve been lucky so far. All of my hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) episodes always seem to occur when I’m home, where I have fast access to glucose tablets and/or Sam, who volunteers to race around the house scrounging up emergency provisions for me, such as raisins, half a Clif bar or leftover Mongolian chicken. This morning, however, I decided not to annoy him because he’s still sound asleep, so I’ll just sit my desk with those tasty glucose thingies. In case you’re wondering, they’re exactly like SweeTarts except a lot bigger with much better flavors and not as tart.

Okay, maybe not.

Remember winter storm Brutus? HE’S LATE. He was supposed to roll into Dallas at 6 a.m. (see previous post) except I just noticed on Weather.com that he’s stuck in traffic (albeit atmospheric) somewhere over Lubbock and won’t show up here at Howdygram headquarters until 10 a.m. This makes no difference to me whatsoever, since our only real plans for today include leftover matzo ball soup and a Clint Eastwood western.

All of a sudden I’m STARVING. Since this is most likely related to my hypoglycemic hoo-hah from half an hour ago I might have to go nuke something in the kitchen. I’m considering a mock Egg McMuffin from Schwan’s because they’re ready in 2½ minutes.

Please note ... in all future Howdygram posts going forward this breakfast product will be referred to as a Schwan’s Egg Mock-Muffin. Thank you for reading this.