Reward yourself with a new font after you vote today. Also a pizza.

It’s finally here … Election Day in America! At first I had seriously considered a full-on 18-hour MSNBC marathon starting at 8 a.m. except other pressing matters eventually got in the way, such as: 1) taking a lot of pills; 2) a nice nap; 3) watching 30 minutes of The Great Gatsby (1974) starring Mia Farrow and Robert Redford; 4) buying a pile of Election Day essentials from Wal-Mart.com; and 5) writing this post. Election results and MSNBC will have to wait until after the polls close tonight. There’s just too damn much going on here right now.

In the meantime, I’d like to offer explanations for items 3 and 4 above because inquiring minds want to know. I only watched half an hour of The Great Gatsby because it sucked, and my Election Day essentials from Wal-Mart included all of the products pictured below.

If you haven’t already voted please grab a few friends and do this NOW. And you’ll make an old lady excruciatingly happy — I refer, of course, to moi — if you’ll vote for President Obama. (Sam would appreciate it, too.)

I think I should mention something. The cool font I used for the graphic posted above is called Captain Narrow and it’s a collection of 21 thrilling styles on sale for only TWO MEASLY BUCKS at MyFonts.com. Reward yourself with a new font after you vote today. Also a pizza.

Thank you for reading this.