More Mitt Romney comedy from the ongoing Republican Follies.

I’m pleased to announce there are FOUR THRILLING THINGS happening today, right here at Howdygram headquarters!

1. Sam brought leftover pizza home from work last night and I’m definitely eating a piece for lunch.
2. FedEx is delivering my new comforter from Wal-Mart (see earlier post).
3. I might go for a haircut.
4. I can’t think of anything else.

Obviously I’m most excited about items 1 and 2 but for very different reasons. Item 1 involves food and item 2 involves no food whatsoever, but in all other respects the overall level of thrill is essentially the same. Item 3 is still a “maybe” at this point and depends on whether or not I feel motivated enough to wear a brassiere and start the car. (Fat chance, right?) Item 4 is both meaningless and self-explanatory.

From our Republican Follies department comes even more Mitt Romney comedy! The GOP’s premier gaffe-master has been blabbing all over town to former supporters and campaign donors that President Obama only won the election because he bought votes by being “very generous” to African Americans and offering huge “gifts” to the rest of the greedy, government-dependent populace that excludes old rich white men. Romney refers to: 1) reduced student loan interest; 2) free contraceptives under Obamacare; 3) improved health insurance coverage for families, children and patients with pre-existing conditions; and 4) comprehensive immigration reform through the Dream Act. Romney is once again under fire for being a heartless Mormon moron ... this time even by Republicans.

For the record, Mitt doesn’t bother to mention his own vow to provide a gift to the wealthiest Americans (also known in Romneyland as “patriots” and “job creators”) disguised as additional tax breaks. Congratulations on your stunning and gratifying loss, Mr. White Bread Jerkowitz!

Holy crap, it’s time to nuke a piece of pizza! Thank you for reading this.