In case you haven’t noticed, Twinkies got more headlines today than General Petraeus.

I’m pleased to report that I’ve had a full day of multiple accomplishments, including: 1) rinsing a couple of dishes; 2) unpacking our new comforter, steaming out the wrinkles and making the bed; 3) admiring item 2 from various angles; 4) folding a lot of Sam’s underwear; 5) updating a client’s website; and 6) I think that’s it. I briefly considered an afternoon nap but time got away from me. I watched “People’s Court” instead.

And now for the exciting conclusion to Sam & Marcy’s big Saturday adventure! Pretty much as we expected, everything about Five Star Vacations, their outrageous travel club membership and their free thank you gift turned out to be a stinking pile of poo. Sam called the company’s travel center this morning to arrange for our two free round-trip airline ticket vouchers and instead listened to a memorized script explaining a long list of additional fees, taxes, exceptions and restrictions that, unfortunately, “somebody should have mentioned to you at the time you booked your 90-minute presentation.” The vouchers, in essence, don’t exist. Seriously pissed off, Sam threatened to call the FBI, the ASPCA, the SEC, the IRS, the GOP, the FHA, the AMA, the CIA, NASA, the Better Business Bureau, Consumer Reports, Domino’s Pizza and his mother. I’ll do my part by posting a snotty review on the Internet. Maybe two.

A couple of breaking news stories! First, in case you haven’t noticed, Twinkies got more headlines today on CNN.com and NBCNews.com than General Petraeus. God bless America! Second, our neighbors across the street already turned on their Christmas lights, including a stupid inflatable Santa that falls over every night by 9 p.m. (I think Santa gets drunk.)

Thank you for reading this.