A tale of body aches, banana phosphates and Democratic storms.

The Howdygram would like to thank fellow Democrats at The Weather Channel for helping to cancel the first day of the Republican convention for no apparent reason whatsoever. Tropical Storm Isaac has missed Tampa altogether — indicated by a red star on the map below — and is aiming instead at New Orleans, where it will arrive as a category 1 hurricane sometime Wednesday morning. In the meantime airlines have canceled nearly 1,000 flights nationwide, tying the GOP’s panties in a virtual knot from coast to coast. Is this cool, or what?

In other news, don’t get too close to your computer screen today because I think I might be SICK. Last night I had all the classic symptoms, such as body aches, chills, a 100° fever, a headache and an uncontrollable craving for a coloring book and crayons. I was also so thirsty I drank TWO BANANA PHOSPHATES.* I feel a little better this morning, however, and plan to tackle all of my Monday chores, which include running the dishwasher, putting away laundry and eating lunch.

Oh boy, Sam just got home from the grocery store with three bags of crap! I’ll try to post again later, okay? Thank you for reading this.

*Contains eight squirts of DaVinci sugar-free banana syrup with 12 oz. of cold seltzer.