The nutrition fairies will strike me dead for this.

Happy Friday from Howdygramland, y’all. This has been an exciting day of life-changing decisions and eager expectations for the future! For instance: 1) after Sam left for work I went to Vince’s Salon for a haircut; 2) I ordered a giant can of sugar-free vanilla shake mix from Amazon; and 3) I watched Cheaper by the Dozen (1950) with Clifton Webb and Myrna Loy. I also considered eating the sugar-free chocolate cake I made yesterday but decided to wait until later.

In retrospect I’m pretty sure none of those three activities actually qualifies a life-changing decision or eager future expectation, but what the hell, holy crap and let’s move on, okay?

In breaking news, apparently a fresh salad can be worse for you than a Big Mac. I just read on NBCNews.com that Wisconsin-based Garden Fresh is recalling SEVEN TONS OF PACKAGED SALADS because they contain ingredients possibly contaminated with Listeria. If you think about it, I can’t ever remember a Big Mac recall for any reason whatsoever, which means McDonald’s is obviously healthier than a bag of greens. (I’m pretty sure the nutrition fairies will eventually strike me dead for this.)

Here’s a hot story from the London Olympics. Less than 24 hours after winning gold for her all-around gynmastics performance Gabby Douglas’ face is already on a box of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. During the next few months I’m sure her smiley little kisser will show up in ads for damn near anything from tampons to yogurt to lip gloss to Fruit of the Loom underpants.

Nice going, Gabby. You’ve only been famous for one stinking day and already people are getting tired of you. (Check out a few of the comments online.)

And now it’s time for a nice shower followed by that piece of frosted cake I postponed a couple of hours ago. Thank you for reading this.