Artistic stimulation might include the national harmonica convention in Irving.

I didn’t get enough sleep last night. I sat up until 4 a.m. horsing around online and never bothered taking a nap today. As a result I’m so damn tired right now I don’t even feel like baking brownies for Sam, and that’s a real shame because I promised. For the record, I always bake Pillsbury Sugar-Free Fudge Brownies, and they’re so good nobody would ever know they’re sugar-free. Pillsbury’s sugar-free frosting is pretty damn wonderful, too, and you can eat it right out of the can with a spoon (a big one). You can find Pillsbury’s entire line of sugar-free crapola in all major supermarkets.

Please let me know if you have anything fun planned for the weekend, because we have nothing whatsoever on our agenda except for picking up lunch from Dickey’s and folding socks. If we get desperate for artistic stimulation we can always head over to the Westin Hotel in Irving for the last two days of the annual harmonica convention. The Society for the Preservation and Advancement of the Harmonica (SPAH) is expecting a mob of 500, and this might be almost as much fun as the National Elvis Impersonators’ Convention we ran into in Laughlin, Nevada, ten years ago, featuring an endless sea of weird dudes with bad hair and jeweled belt buckles. The theme even carried over into the hotel buffet, where the weekend’s entrees were “Elvis specialties” like deep-fried peanut butter sandwiches with grape jelly, a pound of butter and bacon. It’s not hard to figure out why the King didn’t make it to his 43rd birthday.

Thank you for stopping by. I think I’ll call Sam at work right now and annoy him for a while.