Enter to win a valuable prize.

Here’s hoping all of you enjoyed your holiday. Our typical Jewish Christmas at Howdygram headquarters included: 1) a pile of back-to-back Andy Hardy movies; 2) sleet; 3) homemade tacos; 4) prolonged naps; and 5) a gigantic box of assorted muffins from Tom Thumb. I didn’t write a post yesterday because I was too busy with item 1. Sam tackled item 5 with no help from me whatsoever.

And now ... your last chance in 2012 to win a valuable prize from the Howdygram when you IDENTIFY BOTH CLASSIC MOVIE STARS pictured below! Just use the “click here” button to enter by email. The official entry deadline is midnight, New Year’s Eve, so get busy, figure it out and don’t horse around, okay? Thank you and good luck ...

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I have no idea why I’m awake at this hour. I got up at 3:15 with hot feet and decided to hang out at my desk until I feel normal and I’m ready to go back to bed. (P.S. — I’m almost ready.) In case you’re interested, the hot feet thing has to be related to diabetic neuropathy because there’s really no other explanation for weird crap like this. My other symptoms frequently include hot hands, shortness of breath, dizziness, difficulty swallowing, heartburn, diminished taste buds, plantar fasciitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, muscle cramps, numb fingers, gray hair and flat tires. (I might be kidding about the hair and tires.)

It’s just another day in Diabetesland. Thank you for reading this.

Mobsters, dim sum and Raisinets.

I thought it might be worthwhile to write a quick post before I go to sleep. I’m not exactly tired at the moment and it always helps me unwind if I horse around with the Howdygram for a little while. First, here’s a really cute video clip from YouTube for your possible interest. (Sam and I both got a kick out of this.)



And now, three unforgettable events from this date in history!

• December 26, 1946. Mobster Bugsy Siegel opens the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas. Comedian Jimmy Durante was the headliner with music by Cuban band leader Xavier Cugat. A crowd of Siegel’s Hollywood pals showed up, too, including actors George Raft, George Sanders, Sonny Tufts and George Jessel. Unfortunately, the grand opening flopped due to seriously crappy weather, the casino lost $300,000 its first week and Bugsy wound up in deep doo-doo. (I can’t believe I just typed that sentence.)
• December 26, 1973. Legendary horror film The Exorcist opens. Based on the novel by William Peter Blatty, the movie starred Linda Blair as a 12-year-old girl named Regan who’s possessed by a demon. When her freaked-out mother (played by Ellen Burstyn) finally decides to contact a priest, he recommends performing an exorcism, during which Regan’s head spins 360°, her body levitates and she projectile vomits green bile. The Exorcist earned a reputation as one of the most terrifying movies in history. (Popcorn sales sucked and nobody bought Raisinets, either.)

• December 26, 2004. A magnitude 9.3 earthquake — the second-largest in recorded history — off the coast of Indonesia triggers a deadly tsunami that killed an estimated 230,000 people from Southeast Asia to the coast of Africa. The quake lasted almost ten full minutes, triggering other earthquakes as far away as Alaska and causing the entire planet to shift on its axis. Holy crap.

In case you’re interested, Sam and I had a pleasant, typically Jewish Christmas yesterday. We drove to Hong Kong Royal for dim sum, fondly recalling that classic scene from A Christmas Story when the family winds up at a Chinese restaurant (pictured below) on Christmas and the waiters are singing “Deck the Hors with Boughs of Horry” as they whack off the head of a Peking duck.

Pass the soy sauce and thank you for reading this.

Ho ho ho, y’all.

Unlike last Saturday and the Saturday before that, we did NOT go to the Choctaw Casino today. As a matter of fact, we almost didn’t get out of bed whatsoever, but this statement is NOT as racy as it sounds. For instance ... I woke up this morning at 8:30, took my meds, went back to bed half an hour later and slept until the crack of noon, at which time Sam and I ate lunch, watched Another Thin Man with William Powell and took an extended nap because eating and changing channels can be exhausting. At the moment Sam is still unconscious with the Cowboys/Eagles game on TV and I’m struggling to shake the cobwebs out of my brain. It feels like somebody drugged us, but I’m betting the weather — dark, rainy and 41° — might have something to do with this. It’s an extremely blecchy Christmas Eve in Howdygramland.

Regardless ...

We’re having lox and bagels for dinner at Howdygram headquarters, after which I’ll unwrap tonight’s Hanukkah present from Sam. He’s giving me his toes ... a different toe every night. This is such a big hit that I think the Howdygram should launch a new charity drive in 2012: Toes for Tots.

Thank you for reading this.

Holiday highs and lows.

Now that Christmas Day is basically kaput it’s time to look back and reflect. It all started way too early (both of us were up by 7:30) so Sam decided to go for a doughnut run to Garland and then drove around afterwards looking for an open McDonald’s to buy me an Egg McMuffin because I had a craving. I was out of luck on that one; McDonald’s was closed. I wasn’t too bummed, however, because Egg McMuffins aren’t very exciting and I already had Plan B up my sleeve: dim sum for lunch at Hong Kong Royal. You can always rely on a good Chinese restaurant for Christmas because it’s the only place to be if you’re Chinese or Jewish. (Sam and I are not Chinese. Draw your own conclusion.)

We both had a very long afternoon nap and slept through most of “Ben Hur,” Sam ate an ice cream sandwich, I made a gigantic omelette for dinner, and then we watched the Cowboys screw up and lose to the Arizona Cardinals 27 to 26. Sam yelled at the TV a lot.

And now, as the day winds down, I can say with complete confidence this was an excellent, event-packed Christmas for two Jewish people in the Bible belt. All that’s left to do is take my final handful of daily pills, eat Cream of Wheat and maybe watch a “People’s Court” that I recorded on Thursday. We also have some “Seinfeld” reruns. Thank you for reading this.

What Jewish people really do on Christmas.

Ahh, Christmas with Sam & Marcy ... it’s exactly what you’d expect. There’s no Santa, no tree and no presents, and the only thing stuffed in our stockings is FEET. We get up early and toast a couple of bagels, check email, sit around in bathrobes watching the World Poker Tour on TV, eat grapes and ravioli and eventually take a nap with The Bishop’s Wife on DVD. As the evening wears on we light the fireplace, and I enjoy a festive nightcap of high blood pressure medication with half a glass of Coke Zero while Sam eats ice cream sandwiches dipped in sprinkles. All in all, it’s a full day filled with treasured memories. Now shut up and pass the lox.