You can listen to CDs, not wear a brassiere and eat TicTacs at the same time!

In this post: Hypoglycemia, Election Day, fashion disasters.

You probably haven’t noticed but I look lousy right now. I’ve had a couple of major hypoglycemic episodes today and I’m so damn tired I could probably sleep for a decade. It’s a tempting thought. (I might have to tweeze my eyebrows first.)

Never allow the lying sacks of poo at Weather.com to deter you from your civic obligation.

In this post: Pins and needles, still kvetching, propositioned in Texas.

Oh boy! Sam came home from Wal-Mart this morning with two cartons of my favorite insulin syringes! In case you ever want to send me a present that’s appropriate for just about any occasion, the kind I use are 1 mL/cc, 29-gauge, 12.7 mm needle length, and Wal-Mart sells them cheap in boxes of 100. Thank you for your kind consideration.

Reward yourself with a new font after you vote today. Also a pizza.

It’s finally here … Election Day in America! At first I had seriously considered a full-on 18-hour MSNBC marathon starting at 8 a.m. except other pressing matters eventually got in the way, such as: 1) taking a lot of pills; 2) a nice nap; 3) watching 30 minutes of The Great Gatsby (1974) starring Mia Farrow and Robert Redford; 4) buying a pile of Election Day essentials from Wal-Mart.com; and 5) writing this post. Election results and MSNBC will have to wait until after the polls close tonight. There’s just too damn much going on here right now.

In the meantime, I’d like to offer explanations for items 3 and 4 above because inquiring minds want to know. I only watched half an hour of The Great Gatsby because it sucked, and my Election Day essentials from Wal-Mart included all of the products pictured below.

If you haven’t already voted please grab a few friends and do this NOW. And you’ll make an old lady excruciatingly happy — I refer, of course, to moi — if you’ll vote for President Obama. (Sam would appreciate it, too.)

I think I should mention something. The cool font I used for the graphic posted above is called Captain Narrow and it’s a collection of 21 thrilling styles on sale for only TWO MEASLY BUCKS at MyFonts.com. Reward yourself with a new font after you vote today. Also a pizza.

Thank you for reading this.

Vote for President Obama and please tell your friends.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but Sam and I are so fed up with the 2012 presidential campaign — dating all the way back to those moronic GOP primary debates — that we’re ready to hang ourselves. However, all the national polls today are pointing to President Obama’s re-election (thank God), so with any luck the next time I’m forced to hear Mitt Romney’s voice will be his concession speech sometime tomorrow night.  

The sooner the better.

For comic relief, in case you’ve got a really short memory, I’m pleased to include this portrait of the original cast of characters from the aforementioned GOP debates. There wasn’t (and still isn’t) a worthwhile or qualified candidate in the entire crowd.

Here’s a follow-up to the current crisis in Diabetesland as outlined in my last post. I called the pharmacy manager at Wal-Mart this morning and told her that Novolin R insulin is no better than a bottle of sludge from the Trinity River. After asking a few routine questions to determine whether or not I’m a crackpot, she consulted the medicine gods at Blue Cross and agreed to switch my prescription back to Humulin at no additional cost whatsoever. Sam can pick it up in the morning. Two months’ worth. I’m so damn excited I think I’ll eat a bunch of hard-boiled eggs.

Tomorrow is Election Day. VOTE FOR PRESIDENT OBAMA AND PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS. Thank you.

Catching up.

In case you’re wondering where I’ve been for the last few days, it’s really no big secret: I’ve been right here at my desk working on projects and NOT ANSWERING THE TELEPHONE. For at least four straight days up to and including Election Day on November 2 we were receiving nonstop “please remember to vote” robo-calls from every Democratic club, caucus, incumbent and candidate throughout the state of Texas and nationwide ... including no less than four recorded reminders from Bill Clinton himself.

Ironically, when Sam and I show up to vote Tuesday morning at the Dunsford Community Center we find out our district has been subdivided and our new polling place from now on is at Porter Elementary School. Although Porter Elementary is actually closer to our house than the Dunsford Community Center, this is the kind of information that might be nice to know in advance. All those hard-working Democratic organizations wasting all that time reminding everybody to vote ... too bad nobody thought it was important to tell us WE HAVE A NEW POLLING PLACE.

For your possible interest the map below indicates the following Mesquite locations: A) our house; B) Porter Elementary; and C) the Dunsford Community Center.

By the way, a million smooches to everybody who sent me birthday cards this year. All of them were adorable and I hope I remembered to thank each of you individually. Sam had the day off on my birthday so we drove to Hong Kong Royal Restaurant in Carrollton for a dim sum lunch. I meant to take pictures of my dumplings but we were too busy eating them. Maybe next time. Thank you for reading this.