The motivated shopper.

I feel a whole lot better today, in case you’ve been concerned. I’m finally crawling out of that funk from the last few days, behaving more like a genuine Marcy again. Translation: I’ve been SHOPPING ONLINE. This is the best mood-changer on the planet and you don’t have to wear a bra or look for parking.

In the interest of nostalgia my first purchase was a big bottle of Rive Gauche spray perfume from FragranceShop.com, a scent I haven’t worn since I was in college 40 years ago. My motive makes perfect sense. I was sad to find out a couple of days ago that a former boyfriend — Joel — passed away last year, and Rive Gauche was the fragrance I wore about the same time we were dating. I know Sam won’t mind if I have a sentimental need to smell like a 20-year-old student for a little while.

I also bought myself some new desk organizers (see below) from The Container Store ... a drawer unit thing to organize my inkjet paper and envelopes and two file trays that fit on top of the drawer unit thing. I actually ordered mine in a different color — “smoke” — but they didn’t have a decent picture for me to use. (I’m trying to rise above the disappointment.)

Oy. I just saw a sickening “breaking news” bulletin on MSNBC.com about the crisis in Japan: RADIATION SURGE FORCES WORKERS TO SUSPEND NUCLEAR CONTAINMENT EFFORTS. The horror of this leaves me without words. Thank God I’ve still got more shopping to do.

Trying to stay sidetracked.

No kidding, I can’t help it. This week it’s my life’s work to stay occupied and not get too emotionally over-wrought about the devastation in Japan. I wish I could explain why this event is affecting me so profoundly. I mean, we’ve had plenty of other disasters in the news recently, including huge earthquakes in Haiti, Chile and New Zealand, monstrous floods in Australia and half an inch of sleet here in Dallas back in January. But the fact is, Japan is giving me NIGHTMARES. If the earthquake and tsunami — and all those terrifying amateur videos — aren’t bad enough, four crippled nuclear reactors leaking radiation are more than a girl can stand. After spending four days denying any public danger, the Japanese government is finally telling the truth tonight: the radioactive steam spewing into the atmosphere WILL cause radiation sickness, and residents within a 20-mile radius are being warned to stay indoors.  

Personally, if I were Japanese I’d rather hop a plane and move as far from the Pacific as possible, like Indiana or Scotland.

Sam will be home from work very late tonight so I think I’ll distract myself and start reorganizing the closet in the master bedroom. My new velvet hangers from Amazon.com got here a couple of days ago. The timing was perfect.

In other news, we’ve got a VERY EXCITING WEEK planned! An AC repairman is coming to the house tomorrow, on Wednesday morning we’re getting one last estimate for a new cedar fence in the back yard, my maid service will be here at 10 a.m. and our Schwan’s frozen food delivery comes at noon, and on Friday AT&T will be here to install our new U-Verse TV, Internet and digital phone service. I’m still a little nervous about switching to AT&T but I’m sure I’ll love all my new premium movie channels and that jumbo DVR.

Best wishes to you all and thank you for reading this.

Nightmares with a Japanese accent.

What should have been an unforgettable night of serene opulence in our brand new bed actually turned out differently due to a series of nightmares about Japan. Late last night I made the mistake of viewing several devastating tsunami video clips on Weather.com followed by this terrifying headline plastered across the top of MSNBC’s website:

JAPAN WORKS FRANTICALLY TO CONTAIN

CRIPPLED NUCLEAR REACTORS

As I write this post a quarter of a million people are being evacuated around three severely damaged nuclear reactors — all in various stages of meltdown — on the east coast of Japan between Sendai and Tokyo. Japanese officials are insisting the situation isn’t “as bad as Chernobyl”, but they keep forgetting to add “yet” to the end of that sentence. In case you don’t remember Chernobyl — or you’re too young to know what I’m talking about — the meltdown at this nuclear reactor in Russia turned the entire region into a poisoned wasteland from radiation four hundred times stronger than the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima at the end of World War II, causing thousands of deaths from radiation poisoning and forcing the Russian government to move and resettle 400,000 citizens. Chernobyl is still a wasteland today ... 25 years later.

And so that’s why I didn’t sleep well last night. Tsunami videos and nuclear meltdowns. And I’m feeling rather subdued today, too, even though I’ve got leftover Chinese food in the refrigerator and one of my clients just sent an email thanking me for the great job I did designing her new blog. Somebody please cheer me up. Maybe I need lunch.

I hope you remembered to set your clocks ahead last night for Daylight Savings Time. We are all one hour older today. (Yee-ha.)

Disasters: a Howdygram perspective.

It’s been quite a week for tragedies as we follow three devastating stories in the news. First we learn that 68-year-old former Mousketeer Annette Funicello lost her collection of Beach Blanket Bingo movie posters in a house fire, Warner Bros. officially dumps Charlie Sheen, and Japan suffers an 8.9 magnitude earthquake, a cataclysmic tsunami and the explosion of a nuclear power plant that’s currently spewing radioactive steam.

After pondering all three stories the one that haunts me most is the news from Japan. Not only is the entire island turning into a toxic stew of debris, contamination and nuclear waste, there’s also a potential worldwide shortage of wasabi and Honda Civic floor mats. THIS COULD GET UGLY.

And last, but not least, I’m currently suffering from an advanced case of sleep deprivation, mostly because the pain in my left hand gets worse at night and I can’t fall asleep. After thrashing around in bed for an hour I go sit at the computer, write a post or two, buy things on Overstock.com and eventually get so tired I can conk out whether my hand still hurts or not. I’m teetering at the conk-out point right now, as a matter of fact. I look like a zombie. Thank you for reading this.

Earthquakes and other discoveries.

Since my recent charity drive for Australian flood victims didn’t exactly launch as planned (see my recent post re Nose Plugs for Australia) I am hereby and forthwith pleased to announce Trash Bags for New Zealand, an official Howdygram fundraiser for the recently-rattled earthquake survivors of Christchurch. We’re recommending that each of y’all send us $250 towards the purchase of Hefty bags, first-class round-trip airfare for Sam and me to Wellington, plus a five day/four night layover in Fiji because we’ll be depressed after all this and nothing says “cheer up” like a five-star tropical resort. Sam also needs new swim trunks.

Please submit your contributions by email as soon as possible.

Also, please permit me to recommend my new favorite website, The Prepared Pantry. They carry a whole lot of everything if you love to bake, but in my case I’m hooked on their BREAD MACHINE MIXES ... more than 70 different varieties — with guaranteed perfect results — ranging from Gourmet New York Rye to Black Russian to Knobby Apple Cinnamon (pictured below), which makes the house smell like you’re baking a pie so you can impress the neighbors. Those three are actually our favorites. Other flavors you won’t find anywhere else on the planet include Tuscany Basil Tomato, Loaded Baked Potato, Smokin’ Hot Chipotle Cheese, Sour Cream Onion and Honey Graham Granola.

If you don’t own a bread machine you can buy one cheap at Overstock.com and then load up on mixes from The Prepared Pantry. Sam and I have the Oster Express Bake Breadmaker, which I love to pieces and is really easy to clean. And then you should buy an Adjustable Bread Keeper (I've got two) from Amazon.com. Now go bake something and invite me for lunch.

Speaking of baking, we received a surprise thankyou gift today from Sam’s Aunt Adie in California, who sent a box of homemade biscotti (see below) in exchange for the note cards she won in our New Year Giveaway. This was a truly brilliant and inspired idea, Adie, because biscotti is my all-time favorite vegetable right after Mongolian Chicken. Please feel free to enter every Howdygram giveaway for the rest of your life.

Thank you for reading this!

Charity begins at home.

There’s definitely an “oy” in Illinois. The Howdygram would like to send its condolences to the unfortunate residents of Illinois, whose legislature just voted for a 67% increase in the state’s flat-rate income tax ... EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

Illinois has been completely broke for several years. Now Illinois TAXPAYERS will all be completely broke, too. And if that’s not bad enough, parking meters in Chicago have been increased to $5 an hour and the city’s sales tax is 10¼%. Frankly, I don’t know why anybody still lives there. It certainly can’t be for the terrific weather and low crime rate. (Maybe it’s for the great restaurants. Except now nobody can afford to go out.)

Australia redefines “down under.” For those of you with an interest in this continuing disaster of Biblical proportions, I thought I’d post a few of the latest flood photos from Brisbane, Australia.

In my post yesterday I introduced NOSE PLUGS FOR AUSTRALIA, the Howdygram’s brand new charity drive. Here’s what I’m proposing. If every Howdygram reader (including YOU) will send me just $250, I’ll buy some nice nose plugs online and fly to Canberra with Sam to deliver them in person to the Australian government. Your donation also will cover our organization’s administrative fees, entertainment expenses and assorted essential travel expenditures like new outfits for the trip, comfortable shoes, buying postcards, a bus tour of Sydney and an upgrade to first class on Qantas Airlines for both of us because Sam is way too tall for coach. Click here to make your donation now. Sam and I thank you in advance for your overwhelming generosity. G’day, mate.

Don't try this at home.

In an ongoing effort to provide optimum care and maintenance for our expensive electronics, on Tuesday morning Sam decided to bathe his Apple keyboard and wireless mouse with a cup of hot coffee. It didn’t take us long to figure out these devices were either highly allergic to caffeine or dry-clean only, since both were rendered completely useless within five minutes, leaving Sam with nothing else to do but watch “People’s Court” reruns with a bagel. (I was busy doing other things.)

But being a swell and devoted wife, tonight while Sam was at work I ordered a new keyboard and mouse for him from Fry’s Electronics in Garland for store pickup later today after 9 a.m. It’s not likely Sam will get there anytime before noon, however, because he’s still at the office (it’s already after 1 a.m.) and probably won’t get home until sun-up. I’ll leave a light on in the hall.

Incidentally, please let me know if anybody’s interested in contributing to the Howdygram’s new fundraiser: NOSE PLUGS FOR AUSTRALIA. I don’t know where all that damn flood water is coming from, but if the photos I’ve seen are any indication apparently the entire eastern half of the country is now beachfront property (even in the mountains) ... and nose plugs are probably Australia’s #1 need aside from a lot of paper towels.

Click here if you’d like to make a donation, and thank you for reading this.