Tuesday, November 23, 2010

My annual Hanukkah wish list.

With seven shopping days left until Hanukkah I thought I’d post this year’s wish list so you can buy my presents TOMORROW and ship them out on Friday with time to spare. I want any or all of the following: 1) one dozen new 100% guaranteed stain-proof white or natural kitchen towels; 2) a lifetime supply of Equal packets; 3) L’Oreal Voluminous brown mascara because the drug store was out of it last week; 4) six extra cereal bowls; 5) really good cuticle scissors; 6) at least 150 new hangers; 7) four 50-100-150 three-way light bulbs; 8) a full-time personal attendant to tweeze my eyebrows; 9) half a gallon of bird crap repellant for our black car; and 10) small narrow feet.

I realize that #10 might be hard to find so you should probably just concentrate on items 1 through 9. Please send an email if you need my shipping address.

And now, a quick news item about San Antonio’s annual Hanukkah festivities on the Riverwalk, sponsored by Chabad-Lubavitch of South Texas.
This year’s Jewish Pride Hanukkah Parade will be held December 5 on the San Antonio River, beginning with a convoy of 10 barges, each holding 40 people, one rabbi, a Jewish mariachi band, a giant menorah and several platters of latkes. (Latkes are pan-fried potato pancakes. Two bites and your arteries slam shut.) There’s no indication if any of this costs money or not, but since I’ve never seen a Jewish mariachi band it might be worth the three-hour drive to San Antonio. Shalom, gracias, and thank you for reading this.

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