I think cool zombies should count for something, don’t you?

Know what? Sam saved my life this morning! I woke up at 5 a.m. in the middle of a hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) incident, feeling shaky, disoriented, crappy and uncontrollably hungry. He helped me into the study so I could test my blood sugar and it was only 50, the lowest reading I’ve ever had. So Sam brought me some raisins from the pantry and nuked one of those Schwan’s fake Egg McMuffin things for me. It took half an hour until I felt steady enough to go back to bed.

Regarding blood sugar numbers. Normal is considered 80 to 120; the result is considered low at 70 and dangerously low at 50, especially for a diabetic. I might have triggered this situation myself last night (inadvertently) as I’m still figuring out the nuances of mealtime insulin.

You have just read another chapter of Marcy’s Adventures in Diabetesland.

Sam is on his way to pick up an early lunch — glorioski! GRILLED HOT DOGS! — from Five Guys. Since it’s another cold and overcast day here and I have zero motivation to leave the house, the rest of my Sunday projects and activities will include: 1) eating the aforementioned grilled hot dogs; 2) writing this Howdygram post; 3) baking a nice low-carb pound cake; and 4) I can’t think of anything else unless it involves emptying the dishwasher. (I hate emptying the dishwasher.)

Last night Sam and I watched a one-star 1950s horror dreckfest called Zombies of Mora-Tau starring a cast of unknowns with no visible talent whatsoever, such as Allison Hayes with her road-cone titties as a character named Mona Harrison, a crabby floozy who’s married to a con man hunting for sunken treasure. Her other claim to fame was 1957’s Attack of the 50-Foot Woman, in which a gigantic Allison roamed Las Vegas screeching “I want my husband Harry!”

But I digress. In Zombies of Mora-Tau you get a couple of con men, Allison Hayes, a scientist and a treasure diver arriving in Africa by boat to hunt for a chest full of diamonds buried in a sunken ship off the coast. Unfortunately the diamonds are being guarded by a dozen creepy zombies, who all happen to be the original sailors that went down with the ship 50 years earlier. Most of the action centers around a huge Long Island-style mansion near the shore that’s owned by an old lady with cheesy wrinkle makeup whose husband is one of the dead zombie sailors. Other residents include her sexpot granddaughter Jan with an endless supply of tight skirts and negligees and a Rolls Royce with a uniformed chauffeur that nobody ever explains. (This is supposed to be Africa, remember?)

I’m not sure why Zombies of Mora-Tau only qualified for one star. The acting sucked, to be sure, but the plot wasn’t really awful and the zombies were cool. I think cool zombies should count for something, don’t you? Thank you for reading this.

The Choctaw Casino ... good meat loaf, the best pea salad and memorable money.

Hi. Miss me? I took a two-day break from posting here for no particular reason and therefore apologize if any of my regular Howdygramsters have considered rioting or mass suicide. And I mean this sincerely.

As I get older I’m learning how to deal with unexpected weirdness, loss and general crap. After a semi-sleepless night on Friday, during which I amused myself at the computer Googling names from the past, I found a current home address for a friend from 25 years ago when I lived in Dallas with my first husband. Last night when I sat down to write Judy a letter I Googled her name one more time to double-check the mailing address and WHAM, up pops her obituary from March 2012 “following a brief and intense battle with cancer.” I felt like somebody kicked me in the gut. But as I continued reading I learned quite a lot about her family during the past two and a half decades and felt considerably less lousy afterwards. Judy’s three children — who were in their teens last time I saw them — all grew up to be educated, successful and fertile. They gave her 16 grandchildren. SIXTEEN! I found an address for Judy’s youngest daughter in a small town east of Dallas and might send her a note. I’m hoping Katie remembers me.

Sam and I had a lovely weekend that included a drive in the country and a pointless trip to Baskin Robbins in Rockwall because THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANY MORE SUGAR-FREE ICE CREAM. Not one to be discouraged, however, I immediately moved on to Plan B ... hot dogs and fries from Five Guys.

Even though this looks like every bad decision you ever made, a Five Guys hot dog is AWESOME and they let you add as many toppings as you want for free. And just when you think it can’t get any better, the hot dog is GRILLED and the bun is TOASTED. Glorioski!

Sam took a day off work today. It should come as no surprise that we used it for a fun little junket to the Choctaw Casino in Oklahoma. We arrived around 11 just in time for the lunch buffet — featuring good meat loaf, the best pea salad in the world and sugar-free pie — and then proceeded to win memorable sums of money from our favorite penny slots (Cash Wizard for Sam, Rembrandt Riches for me). We’ll probably go back in a few weeks to celebrate my birthday because I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do.

I’d better start making some decisions about dinner. Thank you for reading this.

Repeat after me: It’s a hamburger, people.

Mainstream America is generally a pack of dolts, and the following video clip absolutely proves my point. The Dallas Morning News showed up yesterday at 10 a.m. to interview a mob of local yahoos at the grand opening of Texas’ first In-N-Out Burger, the California chain with its own cult following. Apparently some had been in line for THREE DAYS; others sat and CRIED. Personally, I don’t get it. They don’t even use Velveeta!

Trader Joe’s, however, is a totally different story. Their first Dallas store will open by the end of the year, and that’s a monumental event worthy of a three-day campout so I can be first in line for cottage cheese and couscous salad. I’m just saying. All this hoo-hah about In-N-Out Burger made me hungry so I’m sending Sam to our local Five Guys to pick up a couple of cheeseburgers for us. Is this a thing of beauty, or what? (Five Guys is better than In-N-Out any day of the week.)

FYI, I always order online so Sam doesn’t have to wait when he gets there. This activity all by itself validates my investment in a $1,700 Macintosh computer system. Thank you for reading this and pass the napkins.