I'll bet she hasn't seen him naked.

I just read a news item on MSNBC.com that left me shaking my head. Actually, it left me slightly sick to my stomach, too. Hugh Hefner, 84 — that shriveled, has-been skirt-chaser of yesteryear — got engaged on Christmas Day to his 24-year-old girlfriend Crystal Harris, who was Playboy magazine’s “playmate of the month” in December 2009. (If anybody else finds this more than a little disturbing, please raise your hand.)

I guess I understand what HE sees in HER: an opportunity for legalized pedophilia with a girl who’s young enough to be his granddaughter. Her bridesmaids will probably carry Dora the Explorer backpacks.

But I’m dying to know what SHE sees in HIM. Hefner’s been a nauseating character since the early 1960s, when he championed his alcohol-and-orgies lifestyle on the world’s first reality TV show, “Playboy After Dark,” during which he romped around a sunken living room in silk PJs with a gaggle of publicity-starved 20-year-old bimbos. Hefner was the only person alive who didn’t think that show was really stupid. And I’m thinking this engagement thing is really stupid, too.

I’m going back to sleep now. Thank you for reading this.