Let's play another round of Side Effects Bingo.

We can thank my new blood pressure medication for the fact that I’m writing a post at 5:15 in the morning. I started taking Bystolic at bedtime (doctor’s instructions) about two weeks ago and haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since. Dr. Meyrat probably recommended bedtime because the label says it’s supposed to make me drowsy, but the opposite effect is happening: I’m wide awake all night and tired all day from lack of sleep. And this is also the most expensive medication I’ve ever taken. I’ll talk to my doctor on Monday and tell her we have to try something else.

Of course, Bystolic isn’t the only drug that’s giving me insane side effects. Pravastatin, which dropped my cholesterol from 225 to 132 in less than six months, is also responsible for my hair loss and muscle pain in my legs and lower back. And I’m also taking Benazepril, Hydrochlorothiazide, Metformin, Glyburide, Naproxen, iron supplements and vitamin D ... all of which are interacting like a gigantic chemical stew and making me feel completely whacked-out. I’ve got equipment on my desk to monitor my own blood glucose, heart rate and blood pressure. The only thing I haven’t got in here is a bedpan.

I think I’ll go eat a bagel and lie down in the family room. Maybe I’ll even fall asleep for a little while. Hold that thought.