A senior advantage.

Know what’s nice about getting older? YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE PEOPLE’S CRAP ANY MORE. For example, I had an appointment yesterday with a hand surgeon that never actually got off the ground. Sam and I showed up at 9 in plenty of time for my appointment and then found ourselves stuck in a waiting room populated with way too many patients for a one-man medical office. At 9:30 Sam asked the receptionist how much longer this hoo-hah was supposed to take and she said the doctor was running 20 minutes behind schedule.

Yeah, right. We’d already been there for 30.

At 9:50 a medical assistant finally escorts me into an examining room, asks when did I first experience my carpal tunnel symptoms (even though this information is already on the new patient paperwork I’d brought with me), and then shuts the door and leaves me there for ONE SOLID HOUR reading back issues of People magazine. (It isn’t a total loss. Did you know that Miley Cyrus loves pink lip gloss?)

At 10:50 I open the door to my little dungeon and walk towards the waiting room. Two medical assistants throw themselves in front of me and ask where I’m going, and I reply, “HOME. I got here at 9 o’clock and still haven’t seen the doctor. My husband has to go to work, and I’M DONE WITH THIS.” An office manager named Jill beats herself up with apologies and says: “I’m really sorry. I’m sure you’ll be next. Don’t you want to wait a few more minutes and see the doctor?” To which I reply, “Nope.” (A few years ago I would’ve let these people intimidate me into staying.)

I did tell Jill I’d consider rescheduling my appointment if she could guarantee a time that didn’t involve a two-hour wait. Apparently I can either be the doctor’s first patient of the day at 7:45 a.m. (not on your life, folks) or his first appointment right after lunch at 1:45, which definitely sounds like the better deal. I’ll let you know how this turns out. In the meantime, of course, my hand still hurts.