Danny DeVito is obviously enjoying a steady diet of lasagna and Ding Dongs.

The last 48 hours have been plagued by two crushing disappointments here at Howdygram headquarters, mostly because Sam and I are a pair of trusting souls who tend to believe almost everything we hear.

Crushing Disappointment Number One. We canceled our trip to the Choctaw Casino yesterday because rain and thunderstorms were in the forecast all day and we’d have to be awfully desperate to drive 160 miles round-trip in a deluge for sugar-free pie and penny slots. Unfortunately we never got a single drop of rain on Thursday whatsoever, so we wound up sitting around the house all day DOING NOTHING and whining about why the hell did we ever listen to those pathological liars at Weather.com again.

Crushing Disappointment Number Two. I finally managed to turn my mood around by reminding myself that Betty was coming over on Friday afternoon to upgrade our Macs with the latest operating system, install a pile of fabulous new Adobe software and synch everything with our iPad. Right on schedule, Betty sent an email at 2:30 to tell me she was “on the way” with a thirty-minute ETA ... AND THEN SHE NEVER SHOWED UP. Apparently she had car trouble and wound up getting towed to a dealership, which I didn’t find out until two hours later because she left voice mails on my cell phone and I NEVER TURN ON MY CELL PHONE. (Seriously. My cell phone leads a full and rewarding life as an expensive paperweight.)

Although we’ve rescheduled the Choctaw Casino for Monday and Betty for Tuesday, to help me get through the weekend without a nervous breakdown I’ve convinced Sam that we need dim sum for lunch tomorrow at Hong Kong Royal. God bless dim sum. Dim sum can solve damn near anything.

For your possible interest I’m pleased to include the latest installment of our popular Holy Crap Gallery.

Of the four celebrities pictured above, the one I’d pick for Most Deteriorated would be Rip Torn, who looks mighty shredded to me. Connie Stevens seems kind of colorless and pruny, Danny DeVito is obviously enjoying a steady diet of lasagna and Ding Dongs, and I’m thoroughly intrigued by Dean Stockwell, who’s practically the only movie star left from Hollywood’s golden age, having appeared in films with — ready for this? — William Powell, Myrna Loy, Joel McCrea, Greer Garson, Gregory Peck, Lionel Barrymore, Reginald Owen, Gene Kelly, Donald Crisp, Charles Coburn and Wallace Beery. Holy crap!

It’s 11 p.m. and time for my insulin injection and a pile of pills. For a bedtime snack I’m considering sugar-free vanilla ice cream with Smucker’s sugar-free fudge topping. I could even use my pills as demented sprinkles just for fun. Thank you for reading this.