Glorioski! Trader Joe’s opens in Fort Worth.

Hey, shoppers! The first Trader Joe’s in Texas opened today somewhere in the depths of Fort Worth! According to a live blog on the Dallas Observer website crowds started piling up outside at 5:30 in the morning — in the pouring rain — and by 9 a.m. all 12 checkouts had at least 50 customers in line, stretching all the way to the back of the store. The Howdygram thinks these people are all lucky, brilliant, brave and damp. The first store in Dallas (on Lower Greenville Avenue) won’t open until the end of this year and there’s another scheduled to open at Walnut Hill and Central Expressway in 2014. Holy crap, I know I won’t be able to wait that long for Trader Joe’s cashews, cottage cheese, frozen mango, hot mustard and tofu egg salad. Fort Worth is getting closer all the time. (Please don’t tell Sam.)

As I write this post the aforementioned Sam is stretched out in the family room watching 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), the most annoying movie ever made. Not only did the sound track completely ruin Strauss for me for the rest of my life, the story is slower than watching your fingernails grow and the first 20 minutes with that pack of violent screaming gorillas is enough to set my hair on fire. I don’t like Keir Dullea, either. Or Stanley Kubrick. I am definitely NOT a fan.

Unfortunately, I have a dilemma. I’m starving right now but I can’t access the kitchen without seeing and hearing what’s on TV in the family room. If I offer Sam part of my omelet maybe he’ll change the channel. (I can dream.)

Thank you for reading this.