Over the course of almost 59 years I’ve lived in a number of different cities. In chronological order, they are: 1) Chicago and assorted suburbs; 2) Dallas; 3) Grand Rapids, Michigan; 4) Los Angeles; and 5) Dallas. Incidentally, that’s not a typo. I’ve lived in Dallas twice ... once in the late 1980s for two years, and now I’m here again permanently (and happily) with Sam. The point is, you find ambulance chasers everywhere you go. Here in Dallas we’ve got our very own dynamic duo: Jim Adler and Brian Loncar. I should add that Adler and Loncar are not associated with each other in any way but manage to produce equally annoying TV commercials. They’re personal injury attorneys extraordinaire.
Adler, who nicknamed himself “The Hammer,” shouts like he’s selling used cars, has a Texas drawl as thick as chili and recently dyed his hair coal black to make everybody believe he’s only 35 years old.
Loncar, on the other hand, is characterized as a combination avenging angel and stalker. In his latest commercial he’s shown distributing business cards at a massive car wreck while the jaws of life are prying a bleeding victim out of a Chevrolet. He even manages to show up before the helicopter and ambulance. Frankly, this scares the hell out of me.
And now it’s time for a shower, a late snack and a movie. I’m thinking about one of those old Agatha Christie mysteries with Margaret Rutherford because I love her to pieces. Thank you for reading this.
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