When waitresses suck.

I’ll begin with an advance apology to all you hardworking professional waitresses out there in Howdygramland. There are lots of you, and if you feel hurt, demolished, maniacal or homicidal after you read this post I definitely apologize. I’m not writing about YOU; I’m writing about one specific waitress at one specific restaurant. Her name is Shontae, and she screwed up our dinner experience yesterday at the Black-eyed Pea.

This wasn’t anything SERIOUS, mind you, just some really crappy and lazy behavior. For instance, before we’re even seated at the table Shontae introduces herself three times, because remembering her first name is the most important thing I’m going to do today, right after checking my blood glucose level and voting for governor of Texas. Then she delivers a basket of hot rolls with no silverware or plates. We ask for both. She says, “Plates? Sure, I can bring plates,” as if it’s a novel idea and she’ll try to humor us. Plates are dropped on the table in a stack of three but she hands all the silverware directly to ME, because I’m apparently wearing a sign that says I’m her assistant.

Our appetizer is a nice platter of nice fried green tomatoes, which Shontae delivers after shoving our bread plates and beverages all over the table. When the food order arrives she stands there like the Statue of Liberty with the first entree in her hand, annoyed, and waits for us to rearrange everything and make room. We’re not fast enough and she starts shoving dishes again.

Then we have this issue with BEVERAGES. Mom orders hot water. She orders hot water everywhere we go. She doesn’t drink coffee or tea, just a mug of ordinary hot water. Shontae has trouble with this concept and brings a two-quart plastic tumbler filled with water at the boiling point ... enough to bathe in and so hot you can’t even hold the glass. We look at her like she just landed from the planet Mongo. “You WANTED hot water, didn’t you?” Refills are no trip to the beach, either. When I request more iced tea she stands at the far end of the table with the pitcher and makes me stop eating to pass my glass to her across Sam’s plate.

We love the Black-eyed Pea. We hate Shontae. We left just enough tip to get our point across.

This is mom’s last night with us and we’re taking her to dinner at Saltgrass Steakhouse in Rockwall. Sam and I love Saltgrass, especially the wild west decor. I’ll try to remember my digital camera. In the meantime, thank you reading this and bon appetit.